One Week Later
The acts of execution that I am two seconds away from giving you.
I am going to make you regret that you were born.
Better yet, I am going to make you regret that you were even a fetus.
You think that you've seen the wrath of Bella Swan?
Bwahahaha.
Oh, bwahahahhahahahahahaha!!!
That's me, laughing at your 'I've seen the worst of what you can do to me, Bae.'
You haven't seen anything yet, son.
And if you think that you have, I have a spectacular optometrist that I can refer you to.
After I find one, that is.
I karate chopped my innocent thigh in pure aggravation — more than fucking fed up with all of the goddamn noise that was coming from the living room — as I sat down on the toilet seat, brewing something vicious — mentally, of course — while I tried like all hell not to pull my hair out of my skull.
Like, I'm going insane, people.
No, honestly. Charles Manson? That's me, right now.
First of all, there is a goddamn rave of some sort going on in my apartment.
My apartment, that I pay rent for.
Bella Swan, not Edward Cullen.
Edward Cullen, who moronically decided to throw said rave.
Now, is this the first night that he performed the above said act of stupidness?
No.
No, it fucking wasn't.
I must have missed the invitation that Edward sent out, that was in the form of:
Look at here, a fucking rave! Wooo, mothaeffers! Come and rave it up!
Where: At Bella Swan's fucking apartment that I don't pay rent for!
When: Every fucking night this goddamn week!
When: Every fucking night this goddamn week!
Times: Sun up to fucking sun down!
Who's invited: Every fucking body!
Who's invited: Every fucking body!
Bring: Exclamation points!
Mission: To drive Bella Swan up the fucking wall!
Okay?
Second of all, the kid hasn't been sleeping with me.
And, the definition of my sleeping consists of just that, sleeping. But, no sir!
Edward Cullen — all of a goddamn sudden — didn't want to sleep with me anymore, claiming that he was 'not sleepy' during his — on the dot — 'sleepy time,' which was always around eleven.
Every single night, he ended up sleeping on the living room couch, which is...
Come on!
So fucking unnecessary and uncomfortable.
Third of all, the moron took too many hot showers, that lasted a lot longer than necessary.
Cullen's shower times ranged from 20-25 minutes, on the regular.
This past week, Cullen's shower times ranged from 60 minutes exactly.
Which is whatever, but I needed my goddamn hot showers.
And I didn't get them, simply because Edward Cullen was inconsiderate.
Inconsiderate, being in that he enjoyed leaving me with cold water after he used up all of the hot water.
Fourth of all, my box of snacks that I had hidden?
He ate them all, or threw them away.
Was that even considered economical, nowadays?
Did he not know how to pace himself, without eating the entire box of snacks? Or, did he not appreciate those commercials with the 'needy kids,' what with the way that he just threw the shit out without a second thought?
Ignorant, right? I know, man...you don't have to tell me, I know.
Hearing the beginning of Juvenile's 'Back that ass up,' blaring its way throughout the entire apartment, I growled as my behind shot up from the toilet seat like some goddamn firecracker...crackin,' mumbling an "I'll back that ass up, alright. Juvee hasn't seen nothin' yet!" And then I grimaced at my wannabe 'gangster' being before I corrected myself with a "Nothing, yet. Mr. Juvenile hasn't seen nothing yet."
I swung my bedroom door open, nearly slamming it into my face as I used more than enough energy. All of the ravers who were ravin' it up in my goddamn hallway froze at the commotion that I caused while I glared at the commotion that they caused. "Honestly, motherfuckers?" I spat, throwing my hands up in the air as I waved them around like I just didn't care. "I mean, it's three thirty in the A.M! Do you not believe in sleep?"
"Sweet heaven above earth, forgive me for my desire of lady parts."
Looking over to my right, I raised an eyebrow at Matt, whose gaze was a bit dazed as it remained on my chest that started heaving from my madness. "Give me the whereabouts of the soon-to-be hospitalized Edward fucking Cullen, pronto."
"He's not looking at what I'm looking at, that's for sure," he answered my chest with wide eyes. "Ha-Ha-Ha."
Ha-Ha-Ha?
Who just says that in normal conversation?
And in that unamused type of a way?
Special. That's what he is. Very...special.
I pushed Smith into the wall before I started shoving by ass through the hallway, my shoulders bumping into the ravers who idiotically stood in my way — which accounted for the majority of them, granted — as I ignored their growls of 'hey, watch it!' and their hisses of 'ouch, that hurt!' Reaching the place where the music was coming from, I paused, taking a few deep breaths while I looked around the living room that was acting as a dance floor, taking in all of the motherfuckers who were drinking, smoking in a non-smoking environment, and...gyrating.
On a serious note, do I look like Jennifer Grey to you people?
Tell me the truth, because I feel as if I'm in Dirty Dancing right now.
If someone tossed me a fucking watermelon, I wouldn't be surprised.
Ken literally strolled out of the kitchen, Dick following behind him with his fist up in the air as it pumped to music that wasn't even suited for 'fist pumping.' As soon as Chase's eyes zeroed in on my form, they widened. "Holy eskimos," he murmured before he quickly covered up his gaze with the hand that was holding onto a bottle of beer, causing said bottle of beer to drop down onto the floor and spill it's alcoholic beverage all over my goddamn carpet. "If McCarty or Cullen Jr asks, I didn't see shit. Mama Cullen said that my face was too precious for the consequences."
"I have your back if you have mine," Davis replied with his eyes over my chest after he quickly pushed ken out of the way to get a better view. "This is the reason as to why I fucking appreciate air conditioning, dude."
After pushing a 'Patrick Swayze' wannabe out of my way when his one hip rammed into mine from a dance move that should have broken the bone that he thought could perform some rapid kind of a twist, I placed my arms across my chest and stomped over to them. "Where is that piece of shit whose balls will serve as the ornaments of the christmas tree that I plan on purchasing next year?"
Dick grinned as he nudged Ken's shoulder. "I'm assuming that you mean Edward?"
"I'm assuming that you already know your assumption," I gritted.
"He's not here right now."
Looking over to my left, I raised a suspicious eyebrow at Jasper's nervous demeanor. "Come again?"
"He's out in the hallway," Morris whispered to my right, causing my suspicious eyebrow to raise higher as I noticed the lethal glare that she was giving Whitlock, who in response shook his head at her words. "Jasper is high on his aunt's weed," she added, turning her attention to me, "So excuse him for wrongly thinking that his cousin left."
"Sarah's just fucking around, Bella. I'm not high, and Edward isn't here right now."
"Edward is here right now, and he's drinking up all of your whiskey," Sarah gritted.
Drinking up all of my whiskey, she says?
"I think that I even saw him sharing it with some random broad," Ken stated.
Sharing it with some random broad, he says?
I punched the kitchen door open and walked over to the counter, shouting a 'Shit's about to go down!" as I roughly pulled one of the drawers open, causing some of the utensils that were in there to fall out. As soon as I grabbed a hold of a plastic knife, Jasper's fingers wrapped around my wrist at the same time that his other hand snatched the weapon of destruction out of my grip with a laugh. "That's a little dramatic, Brown Eyes, don't you think?"
I turned around with a growl and pushed him away from my being before I remembered what the kid did for me...that night. "Shit, I'm sorry," I mumbled as he tossed the plastic knife into the sink, lowering my head. "I didn't mean to push you away from me like that."
He groaned something underneath his breath, and as I met his gaze again, I raised an eyebrow at their 'ticked off' state of being, not understanding it. "Nope. Don't even fucking think about going there, Swan."
"Where am I going?" I asked, placing my arms across my chest.
"Don't treat me like that," he whispered, shaking his head at my smart-ass antics as he headed over towards me, his fingers lowering the zipper of his hoodie. When he nodded at my arms, I let them drop from my chest and kept my eyes on his as he kept his own on mine while he dressed me in what he just took off. "You don't owe me anything," he continued. "I did what I did because I had no other choice. You're a part of my team and even more than that, you're a part of my goddamn family, so shut up with all of that nonsense about how 'You saved my life, Whitlock.' I don't want to hear it. In fact, I don't appreciate it, at all. You're just going to end up pissing me off with all of that bullshit."
Looking away from him, I shook my head. "But you did save my life, Blue Eyes. I mean..." Pausing, I returned my attention back to the kid who was standing in front of me. "You jumped in front of a bullet that was intended to hit me, not you. And, I get it, you weren't in any way hurt because of the vest, but...it's the principle that counts to me. How can I not owe you anything?"
"If that's the way that is it, then what does Carlisle owe you?"
Narrowing my eyes at him a bit, I lifted my new hoodie up over my head. "Nothing. Don't be retarded."
"Are you listening to the hypocritical words that are coming out of your mouth right now?" he gritted as he placed his arms across his chest, returning my anger with his own. "I know that you're an intelligent person, B...so don't act like you aren't. Give yourself a fucking break, as well as the rest of us. It's not just you who's in this. We're all in this. Your pain is our pain. You have friends and family who sincerely care about you. You have two little people who think the world of you. You need to remember that. I understand that you're going through something right now and I completely get your second thoughts, and guilt, and whatnot...but let us be there for you like the family that we are, because in the end...that's all that matters."
I nodded after a second or two before I lowered my head. "I like the way that you think," I whispered.
Taking a hold of my chin, he lifted my face. "And you wish that you could think the same way?"
"I do," I agreed.
"But you can't, not right now at least, yeah?"
I shook my head out of his hand, returning his small smile with one of my own. "Not right now."
"You know..." he whispered, kissing my forehead, "I'm not here to annoy you."
"You're not?" I teased, cocking my head to the side.
He winked at me before he stepped up to the kitchen door. "We're here for you."
"I know," I whispered. "Thanks. You're kind of...sweet?"
Pushing the door open, he looked over his shoulder with a grimace. "And you're creeping me out."
I nodded as he walked out of the kitchen, shaking his head. "So true," I mumbled to myself.
Eight Seconds Later, Give Or Take
So, I did.
Heading over towards them, I coughed a "You better look away from each other and look at me."
Well, you know, I couldn't realistically cough that long as a goddamn sentence, but you get the point.
As soon as I reached them, Edward's fingers that were wrapped around the broad's wrists instantly dropped and found their correct destination as they started running through his hair, his eyes snapping over to mine at the same time before they widened a bit, taking in the obvious displeasure that was written across my own. "B-Be-Bella," he stuttered, pushing her away from his space as I mentally calculated exactly how close they were to each other with my brain's ruler. "This isn't what it looks like. I uh, I was trying to see her out."
'Oh, Edward,' I thought with a shake of my head, 'But she's still here, isn't she?'
Turning my attention to the broad when she started 'brushing' invisible shit off of his tee shirt, I gritted my teeth as I grabbed a hold of her wrist, stopping her unnecessary behavior and adding my own necessary behavior by tightening my grip around her soon to be gone extremity part, causing a lovely grimace to fall over her face, as well as Edward's. "And who the hell are you?" I asked in an externally calm kind of a way...
While internally, I wanted to snap a joint or two.
Maybe three.
How many joints are in a wrist, exactly?
Well, however many that is...I wanted to snap them.
"Who the hell are you?" the broad asked back, causing me to laugh out loud as I tossed my head back.
Cause who the hell repeats a question with the same question that they were asked, right?
"Bae..."
"Are you seriously Baeing me right now?" I growled, returning my attention back to Cullen as Ms. Repeater yelped.
He held his hands up in the air as he shook his head. "Not at all, but uh...why don't we all just relax, yeah?"
I raised an eyebrow at him, ignoring the broad's screech of "That hurts!" as my fingers did their snake thing.
It's supposed to hurt, bitch.
Had I wanted it to tickle, I would've brought Cullen's feather duster out here with me.
Duh.
Edward took a hold of my arm, rolling his eyes at me. "Bella, come on. This isn't necessary, honestly."
Fine.
Fine!
"Then allow me to declare what is necessary," I started, letting go of her wrist and stepping in between the two of them, ignoring Cullen's low mumble of never listening to a female's ideas again as he wrapped his arms around my waist to keep me in place. "This asshole who is standing behind me," I whispered, pointing my thumb over my shoulder, "is my asshole, not yours. And when I see your crummy fingers touching any part of him, it makes me go kind of crazy, because it's behavior that I am not appreciative of. In such a way, in fact, that I have no problem-o with ripping those fake acrylic pieces of shits clear off of your nail-beds. Another thing that I don't approve of is having to witness your beady eyes roaming his being in some claiming type of a way, so much so that I have no dilemma of squashing the shit by gauging them out of their sockets. While I am talking about antics that I find completely retarded on your part, let me mention that your previous position of standing in front of said asshole was too fucking close for comfort, and literally...you're fucking lucky that I let it go by ignoring my brain's temptation of telling me to execute you." Cocking my head to the side with a smile, I raised a brow. "Did I make myself clear? Because if I didn't, I can make it translucent for you, hooker. Don't tempt me."
Do I feel...
I wiggled a little wiggle-roo of some sort, and grinned when I got my answer in a low groan that hit my hair as Edward placed his forehead against the back of my head. "That's not fucking fair," he breathed along my strands as his hands moved to my hips, their grip over the elastic of his boxers that I was wearing, tempting.
I held back my own groan by biting onto my bottom lip as Edward's fun pack pressed itself into my ass a bit more. "How can he," she started with a wink towards Cullen, "be yours?" she finished, her eyes all skeptical as they ran down my entire body that the kid's own abruptly stopped slowly grinding against, from behind.
"How can she not?" Edward asked her, trying to keep his voice all non irritated like, tucking his thumbs into my boxer's waistband as I placed my arms across my chest. "Listen, Laura...I don't know what you had in mind, but it's not like that for me. I was just trying to be nice when I offered to walk you out to your car..."
"Laura forgot where she parked?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, looking over my shoulder.
Letting his hands drop from me, he rolled his eyes. "No, Bae, but...you know. I couldn't just..."
My eyebrow raised a little higher, not understanding what the kid 'couldn't just.'
"I'm a chick."
At the broad's obvious declaration, Edward and I returned our attention back to her. "And?" I asked.
"Who knows what kinds of creeps are out there," she answered like duh. "I'm vulnerable."
My jaw dropped as Edward's chest rumbled with laughter behind me. "Are you fucking kidding me?"
Ignoring me, she ran her previously warned fingernails down Cullen's tense arm. "As I was saying, baby..."
I cocked my head to the side, totally interested in what the broad had to say. "Mmmmmmhmmmmm?"
Looking at me in some 'get out of here' type of a way, her eyes narrowed a bit. "Uh, excuse us."
"This hooker is about to get it," I chuckled, rolling Whitlock's sleeves up my arms in some slow and ticking kind of a way — more than anticipated to excuse her, not us — as Edward groaned behind me, running his fingers through his hair as he saw the audience that we were gaining. "You clearly don't see my goddamn name that's scribbled across his forehead, huh?" I asked her as Cullen told some dude to go and get Jasper.
Looking at Edward's forehead like a true dumb-ass, her eyebrows scrunched together.
"That's a shame," I told her after she shook her head in answer, "Because I do," I finished before I punched her on the forehead, just to make a goddamn point.
Because on a serious note, I was bored with this whole thing already...
So why not spice it up, right?
At my hit, a loud scream escaped her doll face being as her head flung back from the impact of my fist that I now nicknamed Tyson JR, and when I noticed all of the fellow ravers cheering in hoorah, I joined in on their happiness with a few fist pumps of my own, until that is...I saw her hand coming towards me. Next thing that I know, I'm pushed aside by one of Edward's hips, and when I heard the hiss that left his mouth when her palm connected with his cheek, I shouted a growl of "Oh hell no!"
Because, hello.
This broad just slapped a man who isn't 'considered' mine, even though...is mine.
True story.
I went to curb a bitch — American History X style — but hands quickly found my hips from behind and prevented me from carrying out the scene as their arms wrapped around my waist, lifting my body up in the air at the same time that Cullen grabbed a hold of the broad who I wanted a piece of. Looking over my shoulder with glare, I growled at Blue Eyes as he started walking backwards, towards the front door of my apartment. "You better desist all evading activity, Whitlock! I'm fucking warning you, let me go right now!"
Jasper rolled his eyes at my threat as he told someone to open the door for us. "You're wearing my favorite goddamn hoodie, Swan," he replied, actually thinking that I didn't already claim it. "Blood doesn't come —"
"Watch your shit, Jas. Swan's famous for it."
I gritted my teeth as my foot connected with no ball sacs. "I fucking hate you, Edward Anthony Cullen!"
"Well I fucking love you, Bella Marie Swan!" he shouted back with a wide smile, returning my middle finger with one of his own as he kicked open the hallway door that led out into the parking lot, carrying the vulnerable twat over his shoulder as she continued thrashing around. "Calm the hell down, or I'll drop you."
"Drop her! I dare you to drop her!" I growled just as Blue Eyes stepped into the living room, Morris slamming the door shut behind him with a pleased smile across her face, to which only pissed me off even more for some unknown goddamn reason. After Whitlock lowered me down onto the floor, I kneed his balls and shoved Sarah away from 'congratulating' me at the same time, ignoring her glare as she fell back into Ken as Jasper bent over with a groan, cupping his sac. "That's it, this party is fucking over!" I shouted, getting everyone's attention. "All of you goddamn ravers don't need to go home, but you have to get the hell out of here!"
"Man, are you for serious?" that 'Patrick Swayze' wannabe mumbled.
"I am so for serious!" I snapped, pointing at him.
"Bella..."
Looking over my shoulder, I shook my head at Cullen. "Not at all."
"Let me explain, wait..."
"Waiting," I whispered, clearly not as I started walking through the living room.
"Come on, please don't be like this...Can I just talk to you for a second?"
"Talk to this," I spat, slamming my bedroom door shut in his face.
Another Week Later
I hid my grimace as I lifted my head. "It's nice to...see you, see you."
"It's nice to see you, see you, too," she whispered, directly looking at my chest.
I cocked my head to the side a bit as I ran my fingers through my knotty hair. "Is everything alright?" She winked at me in answer before she turned around and headed down the hallway. Looking down at my chest, I rolled my eyes, now understanding about the broad's creepy ass behavior. "Nice, Bella," I told no one but myself.
It was cold in this mother.
And, I didn't have a bra on, so you know...hello, nipples, right?
I went to open the door to Piggy's bedroom with the intent of checking up on her, but thought twice about the shit and stopped myself from actually reaching out mid-way, not wanting to bother her, or whatever.
Plus, if she were awake, I wouldn't know what to say to the little chick.
I had nothing to say.
An apology of acting the way that I have been acting, wasn't on my tongue yet.
Walking into the kitchen, I raised an eyebrow at Edward, who was tiredly rubbing one of his hands down his face as his back was leaning against the counter. "Hey," I whispered, trying to ignore Morris, whose ass and tits were just...
Chillin' by the fridge, still enclosed by her bra and undies.
Like, is this cool, all of a sudden?
I didn't know that Edward and Sarah were...that past partner-y close, or whatever.
Chillin' by the fridge, still enclosed by her bra and undies.
Like, is this cool, all of a sudden?
I didn't know that Edward and Sarah were...that past partner-y close, or whatever.
At my voice, he raised his head, avoiding Sarah's eyes as they traveled up and down his body in some type of a way that was honestly starting to fuck with my nerves. "Hey," he whispered as he pushed himself away from the counter. It seemed as if his feet wanted to walk over to me, but Morris coughed and stopped them mid-step, causing my brows to scrunch together while I tried to figure out what the hell she was playing. "You okay?" he asked me, placing his arms across his chest. "I didn't know that you were aw—" slut bag coughed, once again, interrupting his words. "What are you doing up, I mean?"
"It's uh..."
"It's uh..."
"Late?" he asked, finishing my statement.
I nodded before I lowered my head, suddenly feeling too dressed, because hell, man.
This broad — who was definitely not a man, as far as I can tell — was in her skivvies, and Edward...
Don't even get me started on what he was currently wearing.
Alright, fuck that. Get me started.
The kid was wearing boxers.
And, only boxers.
Which, I mean, is spectacular and all...
But not.
And especially not when other females who didn't go by the name of Bella Swan were around.
In my opinion, at least.
Right?
When I heard Morris slam the fridge door shut, I lifted my head and gritted my teeth as I addressed Edward, trying like all hell to keep my cool so that I didn't punch the broad who thought that handling my shit — that didn't only include my food storer — like that was A-the fuck-Okay. "It's pretty late," I declared, not at all knowing or caring about what time it actually was. "Are you tired, by any chance?"
He shook his head, answering my question while Morris smiled at him. "No, not really. I'm actually wide awake right now," he blatantly lied, avoiding my goddamn eyes as his foot scratched his other leg, the movement 'jiggling' things around that shouldn't be 'jiggled' around, as far as I'm fucking concerned.
I mean, get the hell real, dude.
Does he not know that I know more about him than he knows about himself?
"Wanna come to bed?" I asked anyway.
Lowering his head, he ran his fingers through his hair. "I was uh, actually thinking about..."
"Going out," Sarah finished for him as she started headed over towards the counter to join Cullen.
"Oh," I whispered, letting my stress bitten jagged nails dig into the skin that was covering my palms as I watched the broad who was about to get a serious beat down run her stupid fingers through his more than stupid hair...
That, hello, belonged to fucking me.
Did Morris not see my name that was written all over his golden locks?
This broad — who was definitely not a man, as far as I can tell — was in her skivvies, and Edward...
Don't even get me started on what he was currently wearing.
Alright, fuck that. Get me started.
The kid was wearing boxers.
And, only boxers.
Which, I mean, is spectacular and all...
But not.
And especially not when other females who didn't go by the name of Bella Swan were around.
In my opinion, at least.
Right?
When I heard Morris slam the fridge door shut, I lifted my head and gritted my teeth as I addressed Edward, trying like all hell to keep my cool so that I didn't punch the broad who thought that handling my shit — that didn't only include my food storer — like that was A-the fuck-Okay. "It's pretty late," I declared, not at all knowing or caring about what time it actually was. "Are you tired, by any chance?"
He shook his head, answering my question while Morris smiled at him. "No, not really. I'm actually wide awake right now," he blatantly lied, avoiding my goddamn eyes as his foot scratched his other leg, the movement 'jiggling' things around that shouldn't be 'jiggled' around, as far as I'm fucking concerned.
I mean, get the hell real, dude.
Does he not know that I know more about him than he knows about himself?
"Wanna come to bed?" I asked anyway.
Lowering his head, he ran his fingers through his hair. "I was uh, actually thinking about..."
"Going out," Sarah finished for him as she started headed over towards the counter to join Cullen.
"Oh," I whispered, letting my stress bitten jagged nails dig into the skin that was covering my palms as I watched the broad who was about to get a serious beat down run her stupid fingers through his more than stupid hair...
That, hello, belonged to fucking me.
Did Morris not see my name that was written all over his golden locks?
"Yeah. I was thinking about going out," he told the door that was behind me.
"Oh?"
"Please don't say 'oh,' again," he snapped, glaring at me as he pushed Sarah's hand away, only to have that same hand — that I was more than ready to chop off and cook — run down his naked chest, along dusts of hair that my chest has had the pleasure of being pressed up against. "Say anything else that you want to," he continued, smacking her arm away, "But please, don't say 'Oh,' again. I'm over that fucking word already."
I placed my arms across my chest as Morris moved to his side to stand in front of the sink, shaking her ass and tits along to music that was definitely not playing throughout the kitchen, let alone throughout the entire apartment. "Well, tell me what other word you deem appropriate, Cullen," I asked, holding onto the growl that wanted to erupt from my system when Sarah performed an 'oopsie.'
An 'oopsie,' of turning the water on and leaning a little too far into the sink.
That — in consequence — soaked the situation(s).
Situation(s) being the mounds that were barely covered by the blue fabric that was located over her chest.
My eyes roamed the room for Joe Francis, the director of 'Girls Gone Wild,' knowing that the asshole must be hiding somewhere around here with a video recorder taped to his hand, as Edward quickly stepped away from the now bouncing hooker. "Uhm, so..." he paused with clenched teeth as Morris wrapped her arms around him from behind, and when the bitch's palms that were over his pecks started running themselves lower, and lower, and lower still...
I looked away, not understanding what the hell was going on. "Maybe I uh, should go, or someth—"
"Fucking Christ!"
As Cullen interrupted me, I turned my attention back to them and scrunched my eyebrows together in confusion, noticing the glare that Sarah was giving her old partner, who was returning the anger with his own vicious stare down. "Morris said that she would stay here with the midget," he whispered, meeting my gaze after the chick who he deemed appropriate as a child-sitter placed her arms across her wet chest. "Do you wanna come out with me, Bae?"
I placed my arms across my chest as Morris moved to his side to stand in front of the sink, shaking her ass and tits along to music that was definitely not playing throughout the kitchen, let alone throughout the entire apartment. "Well, tell me what other word you deem appropriate, Cullen," I asked, holding onto the growl that wanted to erupt from my system when Sarah performed an 'oopsie.'
An 'oopsie,' of turning the water on and leaning a little too far into the sink.
That — in consequence — soaked the situation(s).
Situation(s) being the mounds that were barely covered by the blue fabric that was located over her chest.
My eyes roamed the room for Joe Francis, the director of 'Girls Gone Wild,' knowing that the asshole must be hiding somewhere around here with a video recorder taped to his hand, as Edward quickly stepped away from the now bouncing hooker. "Uhm, so..." he paused with clenched teeth as Morris wrapped her arms around him from behind, and when the bitch's palms that were over his pecks started running themselves lower, and lower, and lower still...
I looked away, not understanding what the hell was going on. "Maybe I uh, should go, or someth—"
"Fucking Christ!"
As Cullen interrupted me, I turned my attention back to them and scrunched my eyebrows together in confusion, noticing the glare that Sarah was giving her old partner, who was returning the anger with his own vicious stare down. "Morris said that she would stay here with the midget," he whispered, meeting my gaze after the chick who he deemed appropriate as a child-sitter placed her arms across her wet chest. "Do you wanna come out with me, Bae?"
Wait.
He's actually allowing her to stay here with Piggy, dressed — or not — like that?
I shook my head, and his jaw tensed in return. "I'm actually going to go to sleep. Thanks, though."
"You've been sleeping for three weeks now," he complained, trying to keep the irritation that he was feeling out of his voice. I turned around to leave the kitchen, but he called my name and stopped me as I went to push the door open. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like an asshole, I know that you're going through a lot, and I completely understand that...honest to God. What I meant to say is...you've been in this apartment ever since that...night, and I just think that you need a break. Please, come out with me, Bella?"
He's actually allowing her to stay here with Piggy, dressed — or not — like that?
I shook my head, and his jaw tensed in return. "I'm actually going to go to sleep. Thanks, though."
"You've been sleeping for three weeks now," he complained, trying to keep the irritation that he was feeling out of his voice. I turned around to leave the kitchen, but he called my name and stopped me as I went to push the door open. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like an asshole, I know that you're going through a lot, and I completely understand that...honest to God. What I meant to say is...you've been in this apartment ever since that...night, and I just think that you need a break. Please, come out with me, Bella?"
"Where are you going?" I asked, looking down at my perfectly painted toenails.
"I'll tell you when we get there."
Turning around to face him, I shook my head as Morris busied herself with acting like she wasn't paying attention to the two of us while she opened and closed random cabinets. "Edward, I'm not really up for anything. I appreciate the invite, nonetheless, but it's just...I'm not up for it, right now."
"For me?" he asked, his voice killing my denial at once. "One night, that's all that I'm asking for, Bae."
Turning around to face him, I shook my head as Morris busied herself with acting like she wasn't paying attention to the two of us while she opened and closed random cabinets. "Edward, I'm not really up for anything. I appreciate the invite, nonetheless, but it's just...I'm not up for it, right now."
"For me?" he asked, his voice killing my denial at once. "One night, that's all that I'm asking for, Bae."
"Is anyone..."
"No," he whispered quickly, already knowing what I was asking. "Just me and you."
"One night?"
He nodded, giving me a small smile. "One night."
Looking out of my window, I scrunched my eyebrows together as Edward pulled up to an empty field. "Where are we?" I asked him in a whisper, hating that I had to be the one who broke the silence that existed within the car ever since we left my apartment.
"My Pop always brought me here whenever Elizabeth was messed up."
Looking away from the tall trees that took up the majority of the field, I turned my attention to him while he parked the car. "Really?" He nodded, meeting my eyes. "Why did you bring me here?" I asked out of curiosity.
"Because it's my favorite fucking place in the world."
"Yeah?"
"And, I wanted to show you a part of me," he added, returning my smile with one of his own. "If that's alright with you." Running his fingers through his hair, I kept my eyes on him as he looked away from me. "I mean, I know that I haven't really talked to you about my biological mother before...but, I was thinking that...maybe I can start now, or something?" he asked the steering wheel...
Causing a small snort to escape my throat before I quickly covered up my mouth, a bit shocked. As soon as the sound left me, Edward's widened eyes met my own. "Did you just...snort?"
I nodded, uncovering my mouth. "That was weird," I whispered, lowering my head.
"Definitely not weird." I looked over at him, only to find a wide grin over his mouth. "Fuck, I missed that sound."
"Yeah," I breathed, trying to hide my grimace. "I'm uh...sorry...for the way that I've been, you know?"
He shook his head as he lowered it. "No, you got me wrong, I'm not looking for an apology. Shit, I don't even want to hear an 'I'm sorry,' coming out of your mouth, because you didn't do anything wrong. I'm just..." he paused to meet my eyes again. "I'm trying, Bae. I want to try, with you...you know what I mean?"
"Okay."
"Yeah?" he asked, in some uncertain kind of a way that made me feel horrible for the way that I have been ignoring the kid, as of late. "I mean, would you be willing to try with me, too? Christ, that sounds greedy, doesn't it?"
I shook my head as I grabbed a hold of his hand when his fingers went to run through his hair. "Edward, you're not a greedy type of a person," I whispered. "Trust me, I know plenty of them, and you're definitely not included in that category. Far from it, actually. So, honestly, no worries, yeah?"
"I just want this to work."
"I do, too."
A crooked smile, coming my way. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," I whispered, mesmerized by the kid's...everything. "Definitely."
"Alright," he whispered, bringing my hand up to his mouth to kiss the back of it like some goddamn gentleman that I knew he wasn't, causing my eyes to roll at the gesture and a smirk to fall over his lips afterwards from my obvious annoyance. "Let's go."
After we both stepped out of the car, I placed my hoodie over my head, trying to calm my shivers as I looked around, taking everything in. "It's really nice out here," I whispered, more to myself than to him as he headed over to the trunk. "I think that it's pretty amazing that you have a place that you can go to whenever you want, to be by yourself, or whatever."
"You don't have one?" he asked, popping the trunk open. I shook my head as I walked over to him, and he in return raised a skeptical eyebrow at me. "There wasn't a place that you could escape to, when shit got rough? There had to have been, at least somewhere."
I shrugged. "I mean, not to sound like my life was all 'perfect' or whatnot, but when my Pop was around, shit wasn't rough. I didn't need a place to escape to, because he was my escape in a way, I guess." I rolled my eyes at myself before I corrected my statement with assurance. "My Pop was my escape, I mean. No doubt."
"What about when he wasn't around?"
Leaning against the bumper, I shoved my hands into my hoodie pockets, remembering the spot that I spent the majority of my time in after my Pop died. "I wouldn't call it a place," I whispered as he moved to stand in front of me. "If it's considered an 'escape' at all, it's pretty lame, now that I think about it. Especially compared to this field that you brought me to."
"Tell me about it?"
"My uh...well, you know, my Pop...wait, no..." I paused at his slightly raised eyebrow and grimaced. "You didn't know my Pop, so scratch that. The way that it came out insinuated that you knew my Pop in some type of a way, but you obviously didn't, because..." I exhaled before getting back on topic. "What I meant to say was that my Pop and his Pop built the house that I used to live in, but shit...you know that already, right? I think that I told you that some time ago?" He lowered his head with a small nod, and as I noticed the grin that was starting to take over his mouth, my frustration built as I continued in a growl. "Anyway, my Pop made this thing for me, which is...kind of fucking ridiculous if you really think about it now, but you know how time flies by when you're young and carefree and all of that goddamn jazz and...spirit fingers...spirit fingers?" I asked, not even understanding my own insane self. "But, that's besides the poi—"
My rambling was interrupted when one of his hands came up to my face as he lifted his head, causing my eyebrows to scrunch together in mystification, seeing as to how the kid was just standing there, ready for a handshake, or something. "Hey, my name's Edward Cullen. I don't think that we've met before — even though, you look just like the broad that I am head over heals in love with — so, please, let me formally introduce myself. I grew up in forks, was a great fucking kid throughout my entire childhood, and when I turned into the teenager..." he paused in some dramatic type of a way before he smirked. "Let's just say that the fathers around this place had to lock up their daughters to keep said daughters away from my skills." I rolled my eyes as I laughed. "Anyway, I'm 6'2, weigh about two hundred and twenty pounds, but...I want you to keep in mind that most of it comes from muscle, as you can obviously see if you're not blind." When he pointed at himself with a raised brow, I shook my head and lowered it, pursing my lips together. "I'm an undercover narcotics officer, who takes his job seriously. So seriously in fact, that I have previously shot a female in the leg. Now, don't judge me from my actions, because they're completely justified, since that same female got herself in a sticky situation that clearly needed my expertise. My expertise that includes being a cocky motherfucker who is referred to as being a 'prick' by that female who was mentioned above."
I grinned as I lifted my head. "You're becoming such a smart-ass, dude. My influence on you is fucking epic."
"Epic my ass," he whispered. "The midget called my dick a banana last week. Your influence is a disaster."
I laughed, instantly missing the Piggy's crazy personality. "Lilly referred to your dick as a banana? No way?"
"Way," he answered as his hands went over my hips. Pulling me away from the bumper that my ass was leaning against, the kid tugged my hoodie down from my head, and I let him, not getting too ticked off about it, seeing as to how I kind of owed him for taking care of a little chick who sometimes drove me insane while I was behaving...insane, what with ignoring my responsibilities. "Now that I've properly introduced myself to you and that you know that it's just me, tell me about this 'thing' that your Pop made for you."
"It was just a swing," I mumbled quickly. "Not a big deal."
"Why wouldnt it be a big deal, Bae?" he asked, his forehead pressed against mine holding my face up to his when I went to lower it. "It clearly meant something to you," he whispered over my lips when I went to kiss him, "so don't feed me that bullshit about how it didn't," he added before quickly leaning away, "and stop trying to distract me with your mouth."
I shrugged and he mimicked the gesture — exaggerating it, mind you — before wrapping his arms around my shoulders. "It was just a tire swing that he built for me, that's all. I don't really want to think about it, only because my mood goes to shit, seeing as to how I don't have it available to me anymore."
"We can always go and get it."
Wrapping my arms around his torso, I gave him a small smile before I shook my head. "When I said that it's not available to me anymore, I meant that Phil took it down when he first moved in. I don't know where he hid it, and never thought to ask him about it because I was too scared to."
"Why did he take it down?"
"I'm not sure," I whispered. "I think maybe because I spent too much time on it?"
He frowned as his arms let go of me, his fists tensing up at his sides. "He took that away from you."
When I shrugged, he shook his head and turned around, returning his attention back to the trunk. "Hey, it's not a big deal," I whispered, rubbing his tense arms from behind as they started tossing random shit around, his demeanor showing irritation. "He was an asshole, Edward, you know that. I'm just...over that."
"He's lucky that Emmett got to him," he replied, causing me to roll my eyes at his 'temperamental ways.'
The kid thrust two paper bags into my chest after he quickly turned around, causing me to grunt from the force of his haste before I wrapped my arms around whatever he gave me to keep them from falling to the ground as he quickly let go of them. "Jesus Christ, Edward."
"Shit, I'm sorry, Bella," he mumbled, his fingers irritably tugging his hair. "I don't know why I'm nervous all of a fucking sudden." He went to grab the bags, but I shook my head, waving him off as I nodded towards the trunk, silently telling him to close it so that we could start heading over to the field. "Are you okay?" he asked with a slight grimace as his eyes roamed my body, looking for...something. "I didn't...break anything, did I?"
"My tits are golden," I teased, causing his jaw to tense up as he lowered his head. "Are you okay?"
"I'm...retarded."
I narrowed my eyes at his hair. "Is this a date, or something? Because you're kind of creeping me out."
"No," he whispered quickly, lifting his head. "I mean...unless you want it to be?" As soon as the words left his mouth, he looked away from me and rolled his eyes, causing a wide grin to appear over my face before it rapidly disappeared as he returned his attention back to me. "Jesus Christ, I'm a fucking moron, aren't I?"
A nervous Edward?
Too good to pass up.
In my opinion, anyway.
"Edward?" I whispered, my nonchalant demeanor — for once — opposing his 'freaking the fuck out' one.
"Yeah?"
"Are you asking me out on a date?"
"Maybe?" he asked, keeping his eyes on mine to gauge my reaction. "Or, not?"
"I don't like 'maybes.' And I don't like 'or nots' even more," I whispered, biting my bottom lip afterwards.
"You're absolutely right," he whispered, shaking his head in some distracted type of a way while his eyes stayed on my dental activity, looking kind of fascinated by it. "I don't like them, either. I don't know where they came from, actually. If you ask me the meaning of them, I wouldn't know how to reply. They're not in my dictionary..." I let my lip go, cutting off his nonsensical words. Meeting my gaze again, his own narrowed as I cocked my head to the side. "That wasn't my fault," he told me. "What were we uh, talking about again?"
"Are you asking me out on a date?" I reminded his teenager being self.
"Yeah, I'm asking you out on a date," he gritted, throwing his hands up in the air. "Or trying to, at least."
I pursed my lips at his irritation. "Wouldn't you have to ask me out before you actually take me out?"
"Maybe?" he replied before he growled at his own answer, slamming the trunk closed with a glare that was directed at my blatant amusement as I snorted. "Fuck, Swan! Will you go out on a date with me, already?"
"And where will you take me?" I asked as he grabbed the bags out of my grip.
"Well since you fucked this one up," he whispered, nodding at his hip, "I'll take you somewhere else."
I raised an eyebrow at him as I took his keys out of his pocket to set the alarm. "So, this was a date?"
"Will you go on a date with me some other time?" he asked with his own raised brow, ignoring my question.
I shrugged as I walked past him. "Maybe."
Hearing his laugh behind me, I looked over my shoulder and smirked. "You're going to be the death of me."
An Hour Or Two, Later
Leaning back, I closed my eyes as my one hand rested on top of his bent knee, my fingers picking the torn thread of his jeans that covered the skin as the back of my head rested against his shoulder, his warm breath hitting my cheek while his nose ran along it. "I killed my mom," I admitted out-loud, for the first time.
Sure, I knew that everyone knew, but...
It was just different.
Because no one told me outright...'Bella, you killed your mom.'
All that I got was, 'It wasn't your fault,' and 'You did what you had to do,' and 'You're a hero.'
He took the barely touched whiskey bottle out of my fingers that were gripping onto it at the same time that his other arm tightened around my waist, pulling my being even closer to his own being. "You did," he whispered as I kept my eyes closed and my back pressed up against his chest. "You killed your mom, Bella."
And finally, I got what I wanted to hear.
I should've known.
This kid is the only one who understood what I needed to hear.
In a way that I didn't even understand what I needed to hear myself, if that makes any sense.
Opening my eyes, I shook my head before I lifted it to turn it to the side a bit, so that I was looking at him instead of seeing the shit that was running through my mind. "So easily, I shot her." He remained silent behind me as he leaned against the tree, using it as support as I used him as support. "I looked at her, pulled the trigger, and watched her get hit. Not once, Edward. Five times, I did that. It's...sick. It's making me sick, just thinking about it."
"What exactly are you thinking about?" he asked me in a soft whisper, placing my bottle against the tree.
Looking down at my fingers as they started irritably picking at the thread, I shrugged. "A lot of things, I guess. It's driving me crazy, the amount of shit that's running through my mind. I can't...stop them," I whispered before laying my cheek over his shoulder and pressing my lips and nose against the side of his neck, needing to feel the steady beat underneath that lovely smelling skin of his. "The scene's on repeat, and I don't have the remote to pause it or turn it off, for one goddamn second even, I just...I want it to go away."
After hearing his empty beer bottle being tossed down onto the ground, he lifted my legs from their crossed position, tapping on my knees so that I could bend them. "It doesn't happen that way, unfortunately," he whispered, wrapping his arms around my thighs as I closed my eyes, breathing him in. "I honest to God wish that it would go away for you, Bae. But from my own experience of having to witness my mother dying right in front of my eyes, I know that that night won't leave you. No matter what you do, you're...stuck with it."
Lifting my cheek from his shoulder and looking into his eyes, I smiled. "Why do you do that?"
"Do what?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Give me the truth and make me appreciate you, knowing that your honestly might piss me off?"
He grinned as his fingers took a hold of my own that were in the middle of destroying his favorite pair of worn out jeans. Interlacing them together, he brought our hands up to his mouth to give my knuckles a kiss so soft that it caused a loud sigh to leave my being. "Do you know exactly how much shit pisses you off, Swan? It's a long and endless fucking list. I mean, if I were to not say or do anything that might tick you off, Jesus Christ...I would become an immobile mute, who never spoke a word or moved a single muscle."
"Wow, is that all that it takes to have Edward Cullen become an immobile mute?" I teased, ignoring his roll of the eyes as I cocked my head to the side. "If I would've known that earlier, I would've gotten pissed off a lot more, only to have you shut the hell up, or not do any of the stupid shit that you stupidly decide to do."
"Don't act as if I'm the one who talks too much in this relationship."
"Relationship?" I scoffed, to which he raised an eyebrow. "I don't remember you asking me to be your girl."
"Technicalities," he shrugged, rubbing the tip of my nose with his own, "Be my girl?"
"Mmm, that's something that I'll need to think long and hard about," I whispered, kissing the tip of his nose before nibbling it. "And screw your bullshit filled statement of me talking too much. I don't talk too much."
"Hmm, but you do," he replied before retaliating my nibbling by biting...my top lip.
Leaning back, I narrowed my eyes at him as I licked my mouth. "You're an idiot, Cullen. Seriously."
"Seriously?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.
I growled slash laughed at the kid's rude mocking, and when I went to stand up, he wrapped both of his arms around me and pulled me back down so that I was now sitting on top of his lap. "I hate you, douche-bag."
"No you don't," he whispered, tightening his arms around my own as they kept me voluntarily hostage.
Turning around so that I was facing him in a delicious straddle, I pouted. "I wish that I hated you."
"Do I look like a fairy godmother to you, Cinderella?" he asked with a smirk and a quirked eyebrow.
I narrowed my eyes at him as my fingers started playing with the sleeves of his tee. "You piss me off."
"Is that something new?" he asked, his own fingertips busy with the empty belt loops of my jeans.
I rolled my eyes before I placed my forehead against his. "Just shut up, Cullen."
"Then tell me about her eyes."
I leaned back at his request. "Her eyes?"
He gave me a small nod as his arms wrapped themselves around my waist, tightly, as if he thought that his grip could stop me from getting up, or even maybe...keep me in place so that he wouldn't be tempted from leaving this spot himself. "When Elizabeth shot herself in front of me that day," he started in a whisper, keeping his gaze on mine, "All that I remembered were her eyes. I uh, I still remember her eyes, to this day."
Running my hands along his tense sides, I tried to ease the kid's nervousness. "What about her eyes?"
"That's a story and a half by itself," he mumbled, lowering his head.
I lifted his forehead with my own and kissed his jaw. "We have nothing better to do."
"It's hard to explain," he replied, running his nose along the side of my neck, "And you smell too good."
I rolled my eyes at his act of changing the subject as I leaned away a bit to look into his eyes. "Try?"
He groaned as he placed his forehead against my chin. "Bella, I..."
"For me?" I asked after his pause. "Try for me, please?"
Meeting my eyes again after he lifted his head, his gaze narrowed a little. "You piece of shit."
I grinned as I kissed his tempting lips, and as soon as he hummed, getting into it, I leaned back. "Go ahead."
"Alright," he grumbled as he leaned back, letting the tree that he was leaning against support his body as his hands moved to the tops of my thighs that were straddling his hips. I kept my eyes on him as he started running his palms over my jeans, the mannerism silently telling me that he was trying to calm himself down a bit. "Elizabeth started using when I was around five, I guess. If it was any earlier, I didn't notice it. But, I remember the exact day when I did notice a difference in her. You know how I told you before that she used to make the same goddamn breakfast every morning, to which as soon as I smelled the shit, I would wake up like it was my own personal alarm clock?" I nodded as I placed my hands against his chest, giving him a small smile. "Well, when I made it into the kitchen that morning, she looked over at me, and the first thing that I saw was her eyes." His brows scrunched together, as if he was trying to think of how to continue. "They were just...I don't know...filled with nothing. The only word that I would use to describe them is...black."
"I can't tell you the exact Halloween movie where this is from, but did you see the one where Michael Myer's psychologist is talking to someone about the dude's eyes?" I asked, breaking the kid out of his over-thinking as my fingers played with the bottom hem of his tee. After he gave me a small nod, I continued. "Well, you know the picture that the old man sketched of Myer's face...and that quote that he said, of how Myer's —"
"Had the blackest eyes; the devil's eyes," he finished. "What was living behind them was simply evil."
I nodded before I lowered my head, my entire system burning with nervousness from the way that the kid's eyes were looking into mine a second ago. "Uh, right," I whispered. "That's the way that I would describe it."
My chin was lifted by his thumbs that found their place along my jaw after his hands went to the sides of my neck, and while he slowly brought my face towards his, my eyelids fluttered closed, just waiting for the feel of his mouth over mine. "God, Bella," he hummed, my top lip loving the hit of his breath, my bottom one anticipating it, "I adore you."
"Stop trying to distract me with your mouth," I replied, using his words from earlier as I kept my position.
Because, yummy on his inhales and exhales.
Right?
Feeling his abrupt departure, my eyes snapped open and narrowed at his grin. "Alright, so, where was I?"
"You were telling me about Elizabeth, you fucking tease," I answered, extremely disgruntled might I add.
He laughed at the blatant displeasure that was written across my face before he continued, lifting my hoodie over my head and taking the act of rolling my eyes at him as he rolled his own at himself. "Right, so...Elizabeth didn't start using hardcore until I was about eight. She would always feed me some bullshit about having to run an errand, or go and get cigarettes, or beer, or something. The woman didn't even smoke, or drink for that matter, and her words would honestly piss me off, because all that I wanted was her fucking truth. I knew that she used, she knew that she used, and my Pop knew that she used, so why the fuck tell me that she had to go and 'run an errand?' And every single time, her eyes held this shame whenever I would follow her around, asking about what she had to specifically get, or telling her that we already had what she claimed that we needed...like she knew that I knew that her words were bull, but she had no other way to go around it. After a while, I had her act down to a T. In my bones, I knew her mannerisms, so I would prepare myself for what was to come. As soon as she would come home, she would go into the bathroom and when that fucking door closed behind her, I knew that I lost her for a few weeks."
"Edward..." He shook his head but I continued, now understanding why the kid hated it so much when I closed the door on him. "Christ, why didn't you just tell me that from the beginning? I didn't...know...I w—"
"It's not a bi—"
"Bullshit," I interrupted his interruption, "If I would've known that, I wouldn't have even owned doors."
Lowering his head, he shrugged, and as a small grimace fell over his features, I took a hold of his hands and interlaced our fingers together, giving him the time that he needed to go on. "I'll never forget the smell of the shit when she burned it," he whispered after a few seconds, "And I'll always remember the paranoia...of how I would think that just by being in that house, from the fumes alone, that I would get high..."
"How was she...when she was high?" I asked before his eyes met mine. "Did Elizabeth ever...hit you?"
Because if the answer to that is a 'yes,' all that I needed was a shovel and a name of the cemetery.
Digging up a grave and re-killing a broad, was not something that I couldn't manage.
Ya' feel me?
"No, Bae, nothing like that," he whispered in a soft laugh, shaking my hands out a bit. I mumbled an apology before I relaxed my fingers, not realizing the grip that they formed around his own, but he dismissed it, running his thumbs along my knuckles as he continued. "Mostly, she kept to herself...You know how people who smoke crack act, yeah? How they're just paranoid, or overly alert?" I nodded. "Well, Elizabeth was all of that, but her whole body would shake in some uncontrollable kind of a way...as if she were suffering from parkinson's, or something. I always thought, man...I wish that I can just video tape her and show her how she acted when she's cool again, but...I couldn't. It was just...condescending, you know? Because when she wasn't high, she was this...fucking amazing person, both inside and out. She was beautiful, and elegant, and strong, and cocky, but...wise at the same time. She would never look down on anyone...ever...and if she met a person who thought that their shit didn't stink, she had no problem with voicing her opinions about their judgments, but in this...I guess...classy way. Elizabeth just had this...untouchable authority about her."
The kid's cheeks got a little red, and I smiled as he ran my fingers along them. "You really loved her, yeah?"
My question went unanswered as he looked over my shoulder, his jaw tense underneath my palm. "My Pop...he wanted to have a few of his friends over for dinner one night, and I was so fucking excited about the shit, because I never met the guys that he worked with, you know?" I nodded, a slight frown showing up over my face that mimicked his own as his eyes avoided mine. "So, I got dressed up in this stupid little suit, and put gel all over this fucking thing," he whispered with a point to his hair. "An hour or so before they were due to come over, I walked into my mom's room and her eyes...I could just tell that she smoked, but it was at the very beginning. I got so pissed off at her, told her that I hated her even. And, something just fell...within her. After going back into my room, I got undressed, the whole time crying and cursing at my 'special occasion' outfit, as if the fabric was her. Later on that night, I smelled food, so I went downstairs, only to see my Pop and his buddies sitting around the dining room table, laughing. Bypassing them, I ran into the kitchen, and when I saw my mom standing in front of the stove, I was...confused. I didn't understand why she was acting like everything was cool, or why the hell my Pop had his buddies over when he knew that mom was on her way into becoming messed up. But, when she turned around and smiled at me, her eyes...it was as if she never touched the shit that was ruining our lives. They were bright, and green, and..."
"Yours."
He whispered a "Mine" in agreement, closing his eyes as his hands went to my back, his warm palms running along the cold skin that was underneath the hoodie and tee shirt that I was wearing. As I let my thumbs brush across the kid's ridiculously long lashes, a small smile appeared over his face before it disappeared, his voice low as he continued. "I remember walking over to her and pulling on her dress so that she could come down to my level...and I asked her, 'Mom, how are you okay?' I'll never forget the feel of her fingers running through my hair at that exact moment, when she frowned, telling me that it wasn't going to last."
"She was stating the obvious," I whispered, feeling as if his mother's declaration was appreciated by him.
He hummed, opening his eyes again as his hands settled over my shoulders, still giving me their warmth as they remained against my skin. "It was the first time that she didn't give me any bullshit excuse, you know?" Wrapping my arms around his torso, I nodded as I laid my forehead on top of his own. "Not long after that night, Elizabeth shot herself. When I asked you about your mom's eyes, it was because...for me, I'll never forget the look in my mom's eyes when they stared into mine at the same time that she pulled that trigger."
Placing my hands underneath his tee shirt, I nodded. "Freedom," I whispered, telling him what I saw.
When his forehead quickly left my own, I opened my eyes, wondering if something was wrong. "Exactly."
Feeling his back muscles tense underneath my palms, I raised an eyebrow at him. "You're upset?"
"You're not?" he asked me, apparent disbelief within his voice. "I mean, upset is a term that meant nothing compared to how I felt back then. It still ticks me off, because her freedom was a fucking cheap shot, to me."
My hands left his back when his own left my shoulders. "What do you mean, a cheap shot?"
"I mean, why did she 'get' to do that?" he asked, the calmness that I heard within his voice contradicting the anger that I felt radiating from his body. "She was selfish, she gave up on...everything. I didn't get the answers that I wanted...shit, that I needed." I took a hold of his hands that were fisted by my hips and brought them onto my lap, giving him a small nod as he exhaled something deep when I started running my thumbs along his rough knuckles. "I deserved...something, but all that I got was a whole bunch of nothing," he continued after a minute, slowly losing his edge as he lowered his head. "I know that that sounds fucking bad, but goddamn it...I can't help the way that I feel, and I'll never forgive her...for anything. I just...I can't."
"I know what you mean, completely."
After he lifted his head, I placed my hands against his chest to stop my fingers from wiping away the tears that I saw hovering along his lower eyelids, not wanting to piss the kid off or annoy him in any type of a way, knowing that the act would do just that. "You do?" he asked in a soft whisper, to which I nodded. "How so?"
"Renee, that night, she uh...she told me something about my Pop that I —" my words stuck to my throat as his eyes quickly left my own, and when I stopped hearing his soft breathing, I raised a brow. "Uh, Edward?"
"Hmm?"
Taking a hold of his jaw with one of my hands, I turned his face in my direction. "What's up with you?"
"Nothing," he whispered, shaking his head. "What did your mom tell you?"
"That I was to blame for my Pop's murder."
The feel of his quick exhale underneath my palm irked me. "Well, that's fucking ridiculous."
"You're relieved," I stated, narrowing my eyes at him. "I mean, for real? That declaration of hers was cool?"
"Oh come on," he laughed, the roll of his eyes causing my own to widen in disbelief, "I didn't sa—"
"You're a fucking asshole," I gritted, interrupting his nonchalant bullshit as I pushed myself up to my feet.
"Hey," he whispered as he quickly grabbed a hold of my wrist, stopping me from turning around to leave as he used my arm to pull himself up to a standing position, "Wait, don't go, I..." At his pause, I yanked my hand out of the kid's unappreciated grip with an irritated raised eyebrow, asking him what the hell his deal was. "Look, I'm retarded," he whispered, to which I lowered my head and nodded, completely agreeing with him on that. "Talking about my mom, it just fucks with me, Bae. No lie, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."
"I think that we had enough of this serious shit for one night, yeah?"
"Agreed," his breath whispered against the top of my head as I kept it lowered. "I'm sorry, I honestly —"
"No worries," I whispered, meeting his eyes again. "I'm just...I got a stick up my ass, or something."
After wrapping his arms around my waist, he patted my ass with a raised eyebrow. "Can I investigate?"
"You're such a dick," I laughed, letting him continue his 'investigation' as I wrapped my arms around him.
"Do you remember what I wanted to ask you after that shit storm of a first assignment that you had?"
I hummed in answer and to the feeling of his mouth pressed up against the side of my neck. "I do."
"So?"
"Oh my goodness gracious, dude!" I gasped, leaning away from him, "I forgot, all of a goddamn second." He smirked at my teasing, tucking his thumbs into the waistband of my jeans. "You should remind me, I think."
Placing his forehead against my own, he started rocking us back and forth. "Will you be mine, Bella Swan?"
I smiled as I closed my eyes, the kid's adorable behavior driving me mad. "I'm yours, Edward Cullen."
"Can you promise me something?"
Leaning back so that I could see his eyes, I raised a brow. "It depends..."
"Promise me that you'll start wearing your hoodies again?" he asked, his own eyebrow raised.
I snorted at his seriousness before I nodded. "I do miss my fucking hoodies."
"And continue to wear those fucking wife-beaters that give me a permanent hard on, but only with me?"
"Only with you," I whispered in reassurance, rolling my eyes at his narrowed ones.
"And quit taking those goddamn showers that burn your skin off," he continued.
I stopped the back and forth rocking. "You're going a little overboard now, don't you think?"
"Nope," he replied, irritating me with the 'P' popping. "And, can you go back to eating like normal?"
"FOOD!"
He laughed at my outburst, pressing his lips against my own so lightly. "I love you, dude."
"That's cool, dude," I whispered, giving him the grin that was over my mouth.
Looking out of my window, I scrunched my eyebrows together as Edward pulled up to an empty field. "Where are we?" I asked him in a whisper, hating that I had to be the one who broke the silence that existed within the car ever since we left my apartment.
"My Pop always brought me here whenever Elizabeth was messed up."
Looking away from the tall trees that took up the majority of the field, I turned my attention to him while he parked the car. "Really?" He nodded, meeting my eyes. "Why did you bring me here?" I asked out of curiosity.
"Because it's my favorite fucking place in the world."
"Yeah?"
"And, I wanted to show you a part of me," he added, returning my smile with one of his own. "If that's alright with you." Running his fingers through his hair, I kept my eyes on him as he looked away from me. "I mean, I know that I haven't really talked to you about my biological mother before...but, I was thinking that...maybe I can start now, or something?" he asked the steering wheel...
Causing a small snort to escape my throat before I quickly covered up my mouth, a bit shocked. As soon as the sound left me, Edward's widened eyes met my own. "Did you just...snort?"
I nodded, uncovering my mouth. "That was weird," I whispered, lowering my head.
"Definitely not weird." I looked over at him, only to find a wide grin over his mouth. "Fuck, I missed that sound."
"Yeah," I breathed, trying to hide my grimace. "I'm uh...sorry...for the way that I've been, you know?"
He shook his head as he lowered it. "No, you got me wrong, I'm not looking for an apology. Shit, I don't even want to hear an 'I'm sorry,' coming out of your mouth, because you didn't do anything wrong. I'm just..." he paused to meet my eyes again. "I'm trying, Bae. I want to try, with you...you know what I mean?"
"Okay."
"Yeah?" he asked, in some uncertain kind of a way that made me feel horrible for the way that I have been ignoring the kid, as of late. "I mean, would you be willing to try with me, too? Christ, that sounds greedy, doesn't it?"
I shook my head as I grabbed a hold of his hand when his fingers went to run through his hair. "Edward, you're not a greedy type of a person," I whispered. "Trust me, I know plenty of them, and you're definitely not included in that category. Far from it, actually. So, honestly, no worries, yeah?"
"I just want this to work."
"I do, too."
A crooked smile, coming my way. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," I whispered, mesmerized by the kid's...everything. "Definitely."
"Alright," he whispered, bringing my hand up to his mouth to kiss the back of it like some goddamn gentleman that I knew he wasn't, causing my eyes to roll at the gesture and a smirk to fall over his lips afterwards from my obvious annoyance. "Let's go."
After we both stepped out of the car, I placed my hoodie over my head, trying to calm my shivers as I looked around, taking everything in. "It's really nice out here," I whispered, more to myself than to him as he headed over to the trunk. "I think that it's pretty amazing that you have a place that you can go to whenever you want, to be by yourself, or whatever."
"You don't have one?" he asked, popping the trunk open. I shook my head as I walked over to him, and he in return raised a skeptical eyebrow at me. "There wasn't a place that you could escape to, when shit got rough? There had to have been, at least somewhere."
I shrugged. "I mean, not to sound like my life was all 'perfect' or whatnot, but when my Pop was around, shit wasn't rough. I didn't need a place to escape to, because he was my escape in a way, I guess." I rolled my eyes at myself before I corrected my statement with assurance. "My Pop was my escape, I mean. No doubt."
"What about when he wasn't around?"
Leaning against the bumper, I shoved my hands into my hoodie pockets, remembering the spot that I spent the majority of my time in after my Pop died. "I wouldn't call it a place," I whispered as he moved to stand in front of me. "If it's considered an 'escape' at all, it's pretty lame, now that I think about it. Especially compared to this field that you brought me to."
"Tell me about it?"
"My uh...well, you know, my Pop...wait, no..." I paused at his slightly raised eyebrow and grimaced. "You didn't know my Pop, so scratch that. The way that it came out insinuated that you knew my Pop in some type of a way, but you obviously didn't, because..." I exhaled before getting back on topic. "What I meant to say was that my Pop and his Pop built the house that I used to live in, but shit...you know that already, right? I think that I told you that some time ago?" He lowered his head with a small nod, and as I noticed the grin that was starting to take over his mouth, my frustration built as I continued in a growl. "Anyway, my Pop made this thing for me, which is...kind of fucking ridiculous if you really think about it now, but you know how time flies by when you're young and carefree and all of that goddamn jazz and...spirit fingers...spirit fingers?" I asked, not even understanding my own insane self. "But, that's besides the poi—"
My rambling was interrupted when one of his hands came up to my face as he lifted his head, causing my eyebrows to scrunch together in mystification, seeing as to how the kid was just standing there, ready for a handshake, or something. "Hey, my name's Edward Cullen. I don't think that we've met before — even though, you look just like the broad that I am head over heals in love with — so, please, let me formally introduce myself. I grew up in forks, was a great fucking kid throughout my entire childhood, and when I turned into the teenager..." he paused in some dramatic type of a way before he smirked. "Let's just say that the fathers around this place had to lock up their daughters to keep said daughters away from my skills." I rolled my eyes as I laughed. "Anyway, I'm 6'2, weigh about two hundred and twenty pounds, but...I want you to keep in mind that most of it comes from muscle, as you can obviously see if you're not blind." When he pointed at himself with a raised brow, I shook my head and lowered it, pursing my lips together. "I'm an undercover narcotics officer, who takes his job seriously. So seriously in fact, that I have previously shot a female in the leg. Now, don't judge me from my actions, because they're completely justified, since that same female got herself in a sticky situation that clearly needed my expertise. My expertise that includes being a cocky motherfucker who is referred to as being a 'prick' by that female who was mentioned above."
I grinned as I lifted my head. "You're becoming such a smart-ass, dude. My influence on you is fucking epic."
"Epic my ass," he whispered. "The midget called my dick a banana last week. Your influence is a disaster."
I laughed, instantly missing the Piggy's crazy personality. "Lilly referred to your dick as a banana? No way?"
"Way," he answered as his hands went over my hips. Pulling me away from the bumper that my ass was leaning against, the kid tugged my hoodie down from my head, and I let him, not getting too ticked off about it, seeing as to how I kind of owed him for taking care of a little chick who sometimes drove me insane while I was behaving...insane, what with ignoring my responsibilities. "Now that I've properly introduced myself to you and that you know that it's just me, tell me about this 'thing' that your Pop made for you."
"It was just a swing," I mumbled quickly. "Not a big deal."
"Why wouldnt it be a big deal, Bae?" he asked, his forehead pressed against mine holding my face up to his when I went to lower it. "It clearly meant something to you," he whispered over my lips when I went to kiss him, "so don't feed me that bullshit about how it didn't," he added before quickly leaning away, "and stop trying to distract me with your mouth."
I shrugged and he mimicked the gesture — exaggerating it, mind you — before wrapping his arms around my shoulders. "It was just a tire swing that he built for me, that's all. I don't really want to think about it, only because my mood goes to shit, seeing as to how I don't have it available to me anymore."
"We can always go and get it."
Wrapping my arms around his torso, I gave him a small smile before I shook my head. "When I said that it's not available to me anymore, I meant that Phil took it down when he first moved in. I don't know where he hid it, and never thought to ask him about it because I was too scared to."
"Why did he take it down?"
"I'm not sure," I whispered. "I think maybe because I spent too much time on it?"
He frowned as his arms let go of me, his fists tensing up at his sides. "He took that away from you."
When I shrugged, he shook his head and turned around, returning his attention back to the trunk. "Hey, it's not a big deal," I whispered, rubbing his tense arms from behind as they started tossing random shit around, his demeanor showing irritation. "He was an asshole, Edward, you know that. I'm just...over that."
"He's lucky that Emmett got to him," he replied, causing me to roll my eyes at his 'temperamental ways.'
The kid thrust two paper bags into my chest after he quickly turned around, causing me to grunt from the force of his haste before I wrapped my arms around whatever he gave me to keep them from falling to the ground as he quickly let go of them. "Jesus Christ, Edward."
"Shit, I'm sorry, Bella," he mumbled, his fingers irritably tugging his hair. "I don't know why I'm nervous all of a fucking sudden." He went to grab the bags, but I shook my head, waving him off as I nodded towards the trunk, silently telling him to close it so that we could start heading over to the field. "Are you okay?" he asked with a slight grimace as his eyes roamed my body, looking for...something. "I didn't...break anything, did I?"
"My tits are golden," I teased, causing his jaw to tense up as he lowered his head. "Are you okay?"
"I'm...retarded."
I narrowed my eyes at his hair. "Is this a date, or something? Because you're kind of creeping me out."
"No," he whispered quickly, lifting his head. "I mean...unless you want it to be?" As soon as the words left his mouth, he looked away from me and rolled his eyes, causing a wide grin to appear over my face before it rapidly disappeared as he returned his attention back to me. "Jesus Christ, I'm a fucking moron, aren't I?"
A nervous Edward?
Too good to pass up.
In my opinion, anyway.
"Edward?" I whispered, my nonchalant demeanor — for once — opposing his 'freaking the fuck out' one.
"Yeah?"
"Are you asking me out on a date?"
"Maybe?" he asked, keeping his eyes on mine to gauge my reaction. "Or, not?"
"I don't like 'maybes.' And I don't like 'or nots' even more," I whispered, biting my bottom lip afterwards.
"You're absolutely right," he whispered, shaking his head in some distracted type of a way while his eyes stayed on my dental activity, looking kind of fascinated by it. "I don't like them, either. I don't know where they came from, actually. If you ask me the meaning of them, I wouldn't know how to reply. They're not in my dictionary..." I let my lip go, cutting off his nonsensical words. Meeting my gaze again, his own narrowed as I cocked my head to the side. "That wasn't my fault," he told me. "What were we uh, talking about again?"
"Are you asking me out on a date?" I reminded his teenager being self.
"Yeah, I'm asking you out on a date," he gritted, throwing his hands up in the air. "Or trying to, at least."
I pursed my lips at his irritation. "Wouldn't you have to ask me out before you actually take me out?"
"Maybe?" he replied before he growled at his own answer, slamming the trunk closed with a glare that was directed at my blatant amusement as I snorted. "Fuck, Swan! Will you go out on a date with me, already?"
"And where will you take me?" I asked as he grabbed the bags out of my grip.
"Well since you fucked this one up," he whispered, nodding at his hip, "I'll take you somewhere else."
I raised an eyebrow at him as I took his keys out of his pocket to set the alarm. "So, this was a date?"
"Will you go on a date with me some other time?" he asked with his own raised brow, ignoring my question.
I shrugged as I walked past him. "Maybe."
Hearing his laugh behind me, I looked over my shoulder and smirked. "You're going to be the death of me."
An Hour Or Two, Later
Leaning back, I closed my eyes as my one hand rested on top of his bent knee, my fingers picking the torn thread of his jeans that covered the skin as the back of my head rested against his shoulder, his warm breath hitting my cheek while his nose ran along it. "I killed my mom," I admitted out-loud, for the first time.
Sure, I knew that everyone knew, but...
It was just different.
Because no one told me outright...'Bella, you killed your mom.'
All that I got was, 'It wasn't your fault,' and 'You did what you had to do,' and 'You're a hero.'
He took the barely touched whiskey bottle out of my fingers that were gripping onto it at the same time that his other arm tightened around my waist, pulling my being even closer to his own being. "You did," he whispered as I kept my eyes closed and my back pressed up against his chest. "You killed your mom, Bella."
And finally, I got what I wanted to hear.
I should've known.
This kid is the only one who understood what I needed to hear.
In a way that I didn't even understand what I needed to hear myself, if that makes any sense.
Opening my eyes, I shook my head before I lifted it to turn it to the side a bit, so that I was looking at him instead of seeing the shit that was running through my mind. "So easily, I shot her." He remained silent behind me as he leaned against the tree, using it as support as I used him as support. "I looked at her, pulled the trigger, and watched her get hit. Not once, Edward. Five times, I did that. It's...sick. It's making me sick, just thinking about it."
"What exactly are you thinking about?" he asked me in a soft whisper, placing my bottle against the tree.
Looking down at my fingers as they started irritably picking at the thread, I shrugged. "A lot of things, I guess. It's driving me crazy, the amount of shit that's running through my mind. I can't...stop them," I whispered before laying my cheek over his shoulder and pressing my lips and nose against the side of his neck, needing to feel the steady beat underneath that lovely smelling skin of his. "The scene's on repeat, and I don't have the remote to pause it or turn it off, for one goddamn second even, I just...I want it to go away."
After hearing his empty beer bottle being tossed down onto the ground, he lifted my legs from their crossed position, tapping on my knees so that I could bend them. "It doesn't happen that way, unfortunately," he whispered, wrapping his arms around my thighs as I closed my eyes, breathing him in. "I honest to God wish that it would go away for you, Bae. But from my own experience of having to witness my mother dying right in front of my eyes, I know that that night won't leave you. No matter what you do, you're...stuck with it."
Lifting my cheek from his shoulder and looking into his eyes, I smiled. "Why do you do that?"
"Do what?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Give me the truth and make me appreciate you, knowing that your honestly might piss me off?"
He grinned as his fingers took a hold of my own that were in the middle of destroying his favorite pair of worn out jeans. Interlacing them together, he brought our hands up to his mouth to give my knuckles a kiss so soft that it caused a loud sigh to leave my being. "Do you know exactly how much shit pisses you off, Swan? It's a long and endless fucking list. I mean, if I were to not say or do anything that might tick you off, Jesus Christ...I would become an immobile mute, who never spoke a word or moved a single muscle."
"Wow, is that all that it takes to have Edward Cullen become an immobile mute?" I teased, ignoring his roll of the eyes as I cocked my head to the side. "If I would've known that earlier, I would've gotten pissed off a lot more, only to have you shut the hell up, or not do any of the stupid shit that you stupidly decide to do."
"Don't act as if I'm the one who talks too much in this relationship."
"Relationship?" I scoffed, to which he raised an eyebrow. "I don't remember you asking me to be your girl."
"Technicalities," he shrugged, rubbing the tip of my nose with his own, "Be my girl?"
"Mmm, that's something that I'll need to think long and hard about," I whispered, kissing the tip of his nose before nibbling it. "And screw your bullshit filled statement of me talking too much. I don't talk too much."
"Hmm, but you do," he replied before retaliating my nibbling by biting...my top lip.
Leaning back, I narrowed my eyes at him as I licked my mouth. "You're an idiot, Cullen. Seriously."
"Seriously?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.
I growled slash laughed at the kid's rude mocking, and when I went to stand up, he wrapped both of his arms around me and pulled me back down so that I was now sitting on top of his lap. "I hate you, douche-bag."
"No you don't," he whispered, tightening his arms around my own as they kept me voluntarily hostage.
Turning around so that I was facing him in a delicious straddle, I pouted. "I wish that I hated you."
"Do I look like a fairy godmother to you, Cinderella?" he asked with a smirk and a quirked eyebrow.
I narrowed my eyes at him as my fingers started playing with the sleeves of his tee. "You piss me off."
"Is that something new?" he asked, his own fingertips busy with the empty belt loops of my jeans.
I rolled my eyes before I placed my forehead against his. "Just shut up, Cullen."
"Then tell me about her eyes."
I leaned back at his request. "Her eyes?"
He gave me a small nod as his arms wrapped themselves around my waist, tightly, as if he thought that his grip could stop me from getting up, or even maybe...keep me in place so that he wouldn't be tempted from leaving this spot himself. "When Elizabeth shot herself in front of me that day," he started in a whisper, keeping his gaze on mine, "All that I remembered were her eyes. I uh, I still remember her eyes, to this day."
Running my hands along his tense sides, I tried to ease the kid's nervousness. "What about her eyes?"
"That's a story and a half by itself," he mumbled, lowering his head.
I lifted his forehead with my own and kissed his jaw. "We have nothing better to do."
"It's hard to explain," he replied, running his nose along the side of my neck, "And you smell too good."
I rolled my eyes at his act of changing the subject as I leaned away a bit to look into his eyes. "Try?"
He groaned as he placed his forehead against my chin. "Bella, I..."
"For me?" I asked after his pause. "Try for me, please?"
Meeting my eyes again after he lifted his head, his gaze narrowed a little. "You piece of shit."
I grinned as I kissed his tempting lips, and as soon as he hummed, getting into it, I leaned back. "Go ahead."
"Alright," he grumbled as he leaned back, letting the tree that he was leaning against support his body as his hands moved to the tops of my thighs that were straddling his hips. I kept my eyes on him as he started running his palms over my jeans, the mannerism silently telling me that he was trying to calm himself down a bit. "Elizabeth started using when I was around five, I guess. If it was any earlier, I didn't notice it. But, I remember the exact day when I did notice a difference in her. You know how I told you before that she used to make the same goddamn breakfast every morning, to which as soon as I smelled the shit, I would wake up like it was my own personal alarm clock?" I nodded as I placed my hands against his chest, giving him a small smile. "Well, when I made it into the kitchen that morning, she looked over at me, and the first thing that I saw was her eyes." His brows scrunched together, as if he was trying to think of how to continue. "They were just...I don't know...filled with nothing. The only word that I would use to describe them is...black."
"I can't tell you the exact Halloween movie where this is from, but did you see the one where Michael Myer's psychologist is talking to someone about the dude's eyes?" I asked, breaking the kid out of his over-thinking as my fingers played with the bottom hem of his tee. After he gave me a small nod, I continued. "Well, you know the picture that the old man sketched of Myer's face...and that quote that he said, of how Myer's —"
"Had the blackest eyes; the devil's eyes," he finished. "What was living behind them was simply evil."
I nodded before I lowered my head, my entire system burning with nervousness from the way that the kid's eyes were looking into mine a second ago. "Uh, right," I whispered. "That's the way that I would describe it."
My chin was lifted by his thumbs that found their place along my jaw after his hands went to the sides of my neck, and while he slowly brought my face towards his, my eyelids fluttered closed, just waiting for the feel of his mouth over mine. "God, Bella," he hummed, my top lip loving the hit of his breath, my bottom one anticipating it, "I adore you."
"Stop trying to distract me with your mouth," I replied, using his words from earlier as I kept my position.
Because, yummy on his inhales and exhales.
Right?
Feeling his abrupt departure, my eyes snapped open and narrowed at his grin. "Alright, so, where was I?"
"You were telling me about Elizabeth, you fucking tease," I answered, extremely disgruntled might I add.
He laughed at the blatant displeasure that was written across my face before he continued, lifting my hoodie over my head and taking the act of rolling my eyes at him as he rolled his own at himself. "Right, so...Elizabeth didn't start using hardcore until I was about eight. She would always feed me some bullshit about having to run an errand, or go and get cigarettes, or beer, or something. The woman didn't even smoke, or drink for that matter, and her words would honestly piss me off, because all that I wanted was her fucking truth. I knew that she used, she knew that she used, and my Pop knew that she used, so why the fuck tell me that she had to go and 'run an errand?' And every single time, her eyes held this shame whenever I would follow her around, asking about what she had to specifically get, or telling her that we already had what she claimed that we needed...like she knew that I knew that her words were bull, but she had no other way to go around it. After a while, I had her act down to a T. In my bones, I knew her mannerisms, so I would prepare myself for what was to come. As soon as she would come home, she would go into the bathroom and when that fucking door closed behind her, I knew that I lost her for a few weeks."
"Edward..." He shook his head but I continued, now understanding why the kid hated it so much when I closed the door on him. "Christ, why didn't you just tell me that from the beginning? I didn't...know...I w—"
"It's not a bi—"
"Bullshit," I interrupted his interruption, "If I would've known that, I wouldn't have even owned doors."
Lowering his head, he shrugged, and as a small grimace fell over his features, I took a hold of his hands and interlaced our fingers together, giving him the time that he needed to go on. "I'll never forget the smell of the shit when she burned it," he whispered after a few seconds, "And I'll always remember the paranoia...of how I would think that just by being in that house, from the fumes alone, that I would get high..."
"How was she...when she was high?" I asked before his eyes met mine. "Did Elizabeth ever...hit you?"
Because if the answer to that is a 'yes,' all that I needed was a shovel and a name of the cemetery.
Digging up a grave and re-killing a broad, was not something that I couldn't manage.
Ya' feel me?
"No, Bae, nothing like that," he whispered in a soft laugh, shaking my hands out a bit. I mumbled an apology before I relaxed my fingers, not realizing the grip that they formed around his own, but he dismissed it, running his thumbs along my knuckles as he continued. "Mostly, she kept to herself...You know how people who smoke crack act, yeah? How they're just paranoid, or overly alert?" I nodded. "Well, Elizabeth was all of that, but her whole body would shake in some uncontrollable kind of a way...as if she were suffering from parkinson's, or something. I always thought, man...I wish that I can just video tape her and show her how she acted when she's cool again, but...I couldn't. It was just...condescending, you know? Because when she wasn't high, she was this...fucking amazing person, both inside and out. She was beautiful, and elegant, and strong, and cocky, but...wise at the same time. She would never look down on anyone...ever...and if she met a person who thought that their shit didn't stink, she had no problem with voicing her opinions about their judgments, but in this...I guess...classy way. Elizabeth just had this...untouchable authority about her."
The kid's cheeks got a little red, and I smiled as he ran my fingers along them. "You really loved her, yeah?"
My question went unanswered as he looked over my shoulder, his jaw tense underneath my palm. "My Pop...he wanted to have a few of his friends over for dinner one night, and I was so fucking excited about the shit, because I never met the guys that he worked with, you know?" I nodded, a slight frown showing up over my face that mimicked his own as his eyes avoided mine. "So, I got dressed up in this stupid little suit, and put gel all over this fucking thing," he whispered with a point to his hair. "An hour or so before they were due to come over, I walked into my mom's room and her eyes...I could just tell that she smoked, but it was at the very beginning. I got so pissed off at her, told her that I hated her even. And, something just fell...within her. After going back into my room, I got undressed, the whole time crying and cursing at my 'special occasion' outfit, as if the fabric was her. Later on that night, I smelled food, so I went downstairs, only to see my Pop and his buddies sitting around the dining room table, laughing. Bypassing them, I ran into the kitchen, and when I saw my mom standing in front of the stove, I was...confused. I didn't understand why she was acting like everything was cool, or why the hell my Pop had his buddies over when he knew that mom was on her way into becoming messed up. But, when she turned around and smiled at me, her eyes...it was as if she never touched the shit that was ruining our lives. They were bright, and green, and..."
"Yours."
He whispered a "Mine" in agreement, closing his eyes as his hands went to my back, his warm palms running along the cold skin that was underneath the hoodie and tee shirt that I was wearing. As I let my thumbs brush across the kid's ridiculously long lashes, a small smile appeared over his face before it disappeared, his voice low as he continued. "I remember walking over to her and pulling on her dress so that she could come down to my level...and I asked her, 'Mom, how are you okay?' I'll never forget the feel of her fingers running through my hair at that exact moment, when she frowned, telling me that it wasn't going to last."
"She was stating the obvious," I whispered, feeling as if his mother's declaration was appreciated by him.
He hummed, opening his eyes again as his hands settled over my shoulders, still giving me their warmth as they remained against my skin. "It was the first time that she didn't give me any bullshit excuse, you know?" Wrapping my arms around his torso, I nodded as I laid my forehead on top of his own. "Not long after that night, Elizabeth shot herself. When I asked you about your mom's eyes, it was because...for me, I'll never forget the look in my mom's eyes when they stared into mine at the same time that she pulled that trigger."
Placing my hands underneath his tee shirt, I nodded. "Freedom," I whispered, telling him what I saw.
When his forehead quickly left my own, I opened my eyes, wondering if something was wrong. "Exactly."
Feeling his back muscles tense underneath my palms, I raised an eyebrow at him. "You're upset?"
"You're not?" he asked me, apparent disbelief within his voice. "I mean, upset is a term that meant nothing compared to how I felt back then. It still ticks me off, because her freedom was a fucking cheap shot, to me."
My hands left his back when his own left my shoulders. "What do you mean, a cheap shot?"
"I mean, why did she 'get' to do that?" he asked, the calmness that I heard within his voice contradicting the anger that I felt radiating from his body. "She was selfish, she gave up on...everything. I didn't get the answers that I wanted...shit, that I needed." I took a hold of his hands that were fisted by my hips and brought them onto my lap, giving him a small nod as he exhaled something deep when I started running my thumbs along his rough knuckles. "I deserved...something, but all that I got was a whole bunch of nothing," he continued after a minute, slowly losing his edge as he lowered his head. "I know that that sounds fucking bad, but goddamn it...I can't help the way that I feel, and I'll never forgive her...for anything. I just...I can't."
"I know what you mean, completely."
After he lifted his head, I placed my hands against his chest to stop my fingers from wiping away the tears that I saw hovering along his lower eyelids, not wanting to piss the kid off or annoy him in any type of a way, knowing that the act would do just that. "You do?" he asked in a soft whisper, to which I nodded. "How so?"
"Renee, that night, she uh...she told me something about my Pop that I —" my words stuck to my throat as his eyes quickly left my own, and when I stopped hearing his soft breathing, I raised a brow. "Uh, Edward?"
"Hmm?"
Taking a hold of his jaw with one of my hands, I turned his face in my direction. "What's up with you?"
"Nothing," he whispered, shaking his head. "What did your mom tell you?"
"That I was to blame for my Pop's murder."
The feel of his quick exhale underneath my palm irked me. "Well, that's fucking ridiculous."
"You're relieved," I stated, narrowing my eyes at him. "I mean, for real? That declaration of hers was cool?"
"Oh come on," he laughed, the roll of his eyes causing my own to widen in disbelief, "I didn't sa—"
"You're a fucking asshole," I gritted, interrupting his nonchalant bullshit as I pushed myself up to my feet.
"Hey," he whispered as he quickly grabbed a hold of my wrist, stopping me from turning around to leave as he used my arm to pull himself up to a standing position, "Wait, don't go, I..." At his pause, I yanked my hand out of the kid's unappreciated grip with an irritated raised eyebrow, asking him what the hell his deal was. "Look, I'm retarded," he whispered, to which I lowered my head and nodded, completely agreeing with him on that. "Talking about my mom, it just fucks with me, Bae. No lie, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."
"I think that we had enough of this serious shit for one night, yeah?"
"Agreed," his breath whispered against the top of my head as I kept it lowered. "I'm sorry, I honestly —"
"No worries," I whispered, meeting his eyes again. "I'm just...I got a stick up my ass, or something."
After wrapping his arms around my waist, he patted my ass with a raised eyebrow. "Can I investigate?"
"You're such a dick," I laughed, letting him continue his 'investigation' as I wrapped my arms around him.
"Do you remember what I wanted to ask you after that shit storm of a first assignment that you had?"
I hummed in answer and to the feeling of his mouth pressed up against the side of my neck. "I do."
"So?"
"Oh my goodness gracious, dude!" I gasped, leaning away from him, "I forgot, all of a goddamn second." He smirked at my teasing, tucking his thumbs into the waistband of my jeans. "You should remind me, I think."
Placing his forehead against my own, he started rocking us back and forth. "Will you be mine, Bella Swan?"
I smiled as I closed my eyes, the kid's adorable behavior driving me mad. "I'm yours, Edward Cullen."
"Can you promise me something?"
Leaning back so that I could see his eyes, I raised a brow. "It depends..."
"Promise me that you'll start wearing your hoodies again?" he asked, his own eyebrow raised.
I snorted at his seriousness before I nodded. "I do miss my fucking hoodies."
"And continue to wear those fucking wife-beaters that give me a permanent hard on, but only with me?"
"Only with you," I whispered in reassurance, rolling my eyes at his narrowed ones.
"And quit taking those goddamn showers that burn your skin off," he continued.
I stopped the back and forth rocking. "You're going a little overboard now, don't you think?"
"Nope," he replied, irritating me with the 'P' popping. "And, can you go back to eating like normal?"
"FOOD!"
He laughed at my outburst, pressing his lips against my own so lightly. "I love you, dude."
"That's cool, dude," I whispered, giving him the grin that was over my mouth.
Loved it! Finally Bella belongs to Edward. Its about time. Now all I'm waiting for is for Bella to say those three words to him. Then everything will just fall into place. Will Bella confront Emmett and Rose a/b their engagement? I would love to see how that all goes down. I really do miss the team and their antics so hopefully they show up soon and James? Well I know he's back there lingering somewhere. Update soon!
ReplyDeleteReally love this story. Glad to see Bea and Edward talking seriously for a change and to see Bea returning to herself. Whats up with Morris rubbing all up on Edward like that?
ReplyDeleteI was confused for awhile about Edward's hot showers until he brought up her previous use of them.
ReplyDeleteSo sweet of Edward to do that so she could no longer use the heat to mourn. Or w/e. I forgot. This all sounded better in my head. Ha
Great Great Great!!!!! I love how it can go from laughing to such a serious part. I Love this story! Your my fav hookah!
ReplyDeleteHeather
Awesome chapter as usual! It sounded like Edward was worried there for a minute...when Bella was telling him that Renee told her something before she died. Does Renee know Edward's secret??? I'm glad that Bella declared herself Edward's. About damn time!!! Sorry this review is short but it's 4:30 A.M. and bed is calling my name. Can't wait to read more. Keep up the good work and update soon!
ReplyDeleteP.S. Hope school is going well.:)
AWWWWWW effing amazing shit you got here! Can't tell you how soooo fucking happy i am that Bella is starting to stop being retarded and BE with Edward!! You're one of my favorite authors. I just love your writing style, it makes me smile friggin' nonstop, and then ontop of that everything just flows so perfectly. Genius my man, genius. Cannot wait for what you have next
ReplyDeleteI'm glad B is getting back to her old sarcastic self, cause I love the way she is. I'm guessing Edward knows that Bella's pop wasn't who she thought he was & was afraid that Renee told Bella. I'm kinda worried about what Bella's reaction will be when she discovers what E is hiding from her.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I'm missing in this story is some good lemony stuff from B&E, cause those two are some hot motherfuckers, Lol.
This is seriously my favorite fic, love the characters & the plot. Good work hookah! xoxo
Loved It amazing chapter so insightful cant wait for more :)
ReplyDeleteIts about time she accepted him as her boyfriend. Now as for the big secret, I think its going to destroy them AGAIN!!!!!! Whatever it is that they are all keeping from her about her dad, they need to sit down and tell her before she finds out herself which I am sure is going to happen and then she is going to be so hurt just like she was when she found out about Emmett.
ReplyDeleteGreat chapter, loved how he does not give up on her like everyone else has in her life. Can't wait for next post.
ReplyDeleteI wondered if you were gunna do a version of the meadow scene xD. I like how you made them really 'sweet' here but still them, y'know?
ReplyDeleteJust one thing that's been bugging me, when Bella 'snorts' is it that kinda scoffing sound from the back of your throat or is it that really irritating pig sound some people make when they laugh too hard? It's really not important but it's been screwing with my mental imagery.
Anyway! it's a whole bunch of awesomeness can't wait for the next :)
-Rachel
Hey, I already made my review but I forgot to tell you that you should go to this site http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/myfeeds and add the feedburner to your blog, which allows us to follow your blog trough email, so we'll know when you update. xx
ReplyDeleteThat was cute finally their together it took them long enough nice chapter can't wait for the next one.
ReplyDelete-iseebrokendreams
FINALLY!!!!amazing chapter, as always!
ReplyDelete-ally