Chapter 20: New Beginnings


"Oh Jesus mother-loving effin Christ," I moaned, taking a seat in Edward Cullen's God-like creature of a car. As he shut the door behind him, I shook my head at his roll of the eyes as I caressed the leather that my ass was warming up. "How do you not just live in this thing?" 

"Did anyone ever tell you that you're a weird individual?" 

"Whatever," I gave him as I got comfortable. "This machinery is outstanding." 

He smirked as he started it up. "You're crazy."

"And you're beautiful," I shot back, leaning towards him a little as he pulled out of Andy's driveway. As soon as my fingers started running through his sex hair, the kid's breathing stopped for a second or two before it went back to normal, and after I took the time to actually feel the texture, I gasped an "Oh," quickly pulling my hand away from his head. "It is soft." 

Edward pursed his lips at my slip up. 


"What?" I snapped, narrowing my eyes at his arrogance. 

"You were always wondering if my hair was soft, weren't you?"

"No," I scoffed like 'are you crazy?' "In your dreams, bastard." 

He laughed, looking over at me. "Don't sweat it, Bae. Females can't deny my se—"

"Oh shut up," I interrupted, smacking the side of his head. I turned away from the egotistical ass and placed my feet up against the dashboard, only for them to get slapped off. "Excuse yourself," I hissed. 

"Christ, don't do that," he snapped, tossing my feet off once again when they tried to reclaim their position. "I don't understand why you always wanna fuck up my goddamn car, man." 

"I wanna fuck it, not fuck it up," I corrected. He coughed in return and I raised an eyebrow. "And you say that I'm fucking weird?" I asked before shaking my head at his teenage ways. "You seriously need to get checked." 

He grumbled a response that deserved nothing but a loud snort, so...


That's exactly what I gave him.



When he pulled up to Breaking Dawn, I raised an eyebrow at him as he parked. "I thought that we were going to your parent's house?" 

"I said that we were going to see my mom," he whispered, getting out of his car. "She's at work." 

"Cool," I shrugged in some nonchalant manner and unlocked the door before I kicked it open. Edward groaned as he gently closed his own door, and I laughed before I promptly fell out of my seat. "Damnit!" 

How I fell out, you motherfucking ask? 

I guess that you can say that I was a little too excited about seeing Esme...

Forgetting the fact that, 'Oh, look! Your body came with goddamn legs, B!'

"Bella?"

I snorted. "Down here. I'm laying off of the whiskey for a while. Owe." 

After walking over to where I sat, rubbing my ass cheeks, he bent down and brushed my hair out of my face. "You good?" 

"I'm a mess, yeah?" I asked, shaking my head at myself. 

He shook his own head at me with a whispered "No" before he grabbed a hold of my hand and pulled me up to my feet. "You're a hot mess." 

"Ass," I mumbled, rolling my eyes at him. 

"Speaking of which," he whispered with a smirk before smacking the existence out of my behind and laughing when I growled from the goddamn soreness. "It still hurts?" he asked, acting surprised as he smacked it once the hell again and got the same response from me. "Yeah?" 

"Edward!" I yelled as I tried to move away from him and his fucking happy palms. 

He grinned as he gave my ass cheeks a gentle rub, his arms around my waist holding me hostage. "Come on, klutz. Let's go in." I went to pinch his nipples as he moved away from my space, but he quickly took a hold of my hands and started pulling me towards the building. "She's not expecting me here so late, so don't go in there shouting like someone whose been drinking her weight in whiskey all night long."   

As soon as we walked into Breaking Dawn, I spotted Esme stacking up boxes by the counter and screamed her name, acting as if I was in the middle of a dance off in some rowdy ass club. "Wooooo!" 

Edward hissed, shaking off the grip that I had around his hand before flexing his fingers. "Shit, Bae." 

I shrugged like get over it, slapping his mouth a couple of times before I started running towards Esme, who grinned as she dropped the boxes that she was working on, waiting for my attack as her arms opened up for me. 

And attack, I did.

I threw my body at her, and she groaned as we crashed onto the floor. Lifting one of her arms, she laughed as she patted the top of my head. "Well, I'm excited to see you, too, sweetheart." 

"Oh shi—oot," I whispered, looking down at her. "Did I break you?"

Shaking her head, she smiled. "I'm okay, Bambina." Edward came over to us and grabbed a hold of my waist before lifting me off of his mom. Keeping his eyes on me, he grinned as he bent down again to help Esme up to her feet. "Bambino, thank you for coming by."

"No problem," he whispered before he rolled his eyes at me. "Jesus Christ, Bae."

"I was excited," I pouted, rubbing my hip. "I apologized."

Esme's eyes narrowed at my hand before she quickly switched her gaze to her son, who nervously started running his fingers through his hair. As I stopped the rubbing, she returned her attention back to me with some kind of a forced smile. "There's no need for apologies, I'm perfectly fine. I'm excited to see your face, too." Looking at Edward, she playfully smacked his cheek. "Don't be ridiculous, and enough with the Jesus Christ, Edward. When will you ever learn?"

"Yeah, alright," he grinned. "Go home, we'll take care of this," he told her, nodding towards the boxes.

"Thank you." She gave me a quick glance before she started heading towards the back. "Bella, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Damnit.

"Uh, Es—" I started but stopped, seeing as to how she was already gone. I turned my attention to Edward and narrowed my eyes at the kid as he suspiciously 'busied' himself with the boxes, avoiding my gaze. "You prick."

"Esme is a force to be reckoned with," he whispered, meeting my eyes after a few seconds. "Honestly, Bae, I can't stop her. And it's not like she's going to yell at you, or anything like that. Just go and talk to her."

I groaned as I headed towards the back, his words not at all helping me. When I walked into the main office, I saw her sitting down at her desk and going through files, not paying me any mind while I closed the door after me. "Uh...hey," I whispered softly, placing my hoodie over my head with nothing but nervousness dominating my blood, not knowing what the hell Esme knew, or how she was going to react to anything that she knew.

Without looking at me, she nodded towards the chair that was placed in front of her desk as she continued to go through random papers. "Take a seat, sweetheart."

Doing as she said, I sat down, keeping my eyes on her as I waited for her to start.

But, she didn't. So, after a minute or two, I started. "Esme, I'm okay."

Finally meeting my gaze, she raised an eyebrow. "You are?"

"Yeah," I whispered. "I'm perfectly alright."

She shook her head as she leaned back into her chair, placing her arms across her chest. "Bambina, listen. I'm not going to sit here and start lecturing you, because I know that you're a grown woman. Hell, honey, anyone  who knows you can see that. But, I'm afraid that I disagree with your statement."

"Es—"

Lowering her eyes to her papers, she interrupted me. "Did you know that Edward wasn't my biological son?"

Sitting up a bit, I raised an eyebrow at her. "Uh, come again?" 

"I met Carlisle when Edward was twelve."

"Uh, come again?" I repeated, my eyebrow raising higher.

Glancing at the door, she laughed, the soft sound so loud in the quiet room. "Edward despised me for the first few months. He was going through a really hard time given his circumstances, so I understood. No young kid at his age should have seen what that boy has seen."

"Is his biological mother still around?" I asked.

"No, she isn't. And, I'm not going to talk about why she isn't, because that's Edwards story to tell, not mine."

"Okay," I quickly agreed, not wanting her to stop talking about Edward's past.

"The point is," she continued, "is that I have never seen Edward care so much for a female as much as he does for you." I went to interrupt but she waved me off. "And you're hurting him, even if you don't see it."

"I'm not hurting him," I said defensively.

"But you are," she replied, just as defensively. "And I have grown to like you, Bella...but no one, and I mean no one, hurts my son."

"Esme, with all due respect, I have no idea what you're talking about."

She stood up from her seat and walked around her desk before standing in front of me. "You may think that I don't know about what is going on, what with the fainted bruises that are over your face and the way that you limp around, rubbing your hip. But I know, sweetheart."

I stood up. I can't believe this shit! "They told yo—"

"No one told me anything," she interrupted with narrowed eyes. "Take a seat."

And I sat the fuck down.

I'm not a little bitch, people...but Esme scares the shit out of me. This woman has that calm demeanor, like Blue Eyes...but if something were to go down, I can just picture her little ass tearing a bitch apart.

"Carlisle didn't say a word, and neither did Edward, but they can't hide anything from me."

"This is ridiculous," I whispered as I stood up and turned around.

When I reached the door, she gently pushed me away from it and blocked the exit. "Listen, sweetheart. I'm not going to say anything, of course. I just care for you, that's all. And I know that my family does as well. I understand that your mother left, but you're not alone. You know that, right?"

I shrugged as I lowered my head.

My own mother left me. 


Emmett has his own goddamn problems, and Rose and J? 


Mm. They're both basically ignoring me.

Taking a hold of my chin, she lifted it, making my eyes meet hers. "You're not alone, Bambina. If you need to talk to someone, whether it be to complain, or to rejoice...I'm here." 

I nodded as I leaned back, her kind hand dropping from my chin. "Thanks, Esme."

"No thanks is needed," she whispered, stepping away from the door. "I, on the other hand, am sorry for giving you trouble, but I can't just...sit around, and watch my son unnecessarily worry about you when you can help yourself. Do you understand?"

"I don't want Edward involved, he involves himself. And it's complicated right now, but I'll work on it."

"You are the only one who is making it complicating," she whispered, lowering my hoodie from my hair before running her fingers through it. "And if you don't know this by now, my son is an overbearing protective prick," she added with a smirk. "He simply can't help himself."

"Yeah," I snorted, rolling my eyes. "A prick, he is."

"Just please, for yourself, do something before it gets worse, okay?"

I nodded, giving her a small smile. "Okay."

Kissing my cheek, she stepped out of the room. "I'll see you later, sweetheart."

I walked back over and sat down on the chair, fucking spent.

Esme was right, I need to do something, but...what? 

There was no way that I was going to let the boys know. It's not that I care if they hurt Phil or not, it's just the fact that I couldn't live with myself if they were caught and ended up in jail. I just couldn't stomach that thought.

At All.

Maybe I can take up Edward's offer and move in with him until I save up enough money to get my own place. But, can I live with the ass? I will probably get sued because I'll diminish his chances of reproducing his spawn, what with the numerous times that I'll end up kneeing him. Either that, or he'll  die of a goddamn heart attack with his OCD tendencies. 

I am a messy bitch, after all. Always was, always will be. 

But fuck me sideways on Sunday morning. I'm pissed. Edward knows something that is far too goddamn personal about me, and he keeps so many secrets about himself. Esme isn't his mom! Where the hell did that come from? And what's that goddamn story?

How about the whole 'I know' bullshit? 

I bet you that Edward opened up his mouth about my situation.

Standing up from my chair, I walked out into the bar and saw it spotless. Edward was sitting down on a stool, reading some unknown magazine, and when he heard me, he stood up and ran his fingers through his hair. "Hey, Edward," I whispered with a menacing smile.

He cupped his shit with one hand and held the other one up in the air. "I didn't say anything, Bae." 

I chuckled like an asylum patient. "Well, isn't that funny, what with the conversation that I just had with your 'quote on quote' mother." 

"My 'quote on quote' mother?"

"Yeah, your quote-on-motherfucking-quote mother, seeing as to how Esme isn't your biological mother!" I screeched.

"Bae, listen," he started.

"Don't you dare Bae me, Edward Cullen!" I interrupted as I headed towards him with narrowed eyes, causing a lovely grimace to fall over his face as he started backing away. "You know what I find so goddamn convenient?" 

"Bella, just...calm down." His back hit the counter and he laughed, in some awkward kind of a way as he held his hands up beside his shoulders. "There's honestly no need to act all...crazy."

Standing in front of him, I placed my arms across my chest. "You know something that's so personal to me, and I don't know shit about you...that's what I find convenient. Also, what's hilarious to me, is how you're the only goddamn person who knows so much about my personal life, and come to find out, your mother knows it, too!" 

"Bae—"

"Call me Bae one more time," I threatened.

He rolled his eyes. "Bella, I didn't say anything! She has her own freak way of knowing, I swear."

I smacked his chest and he snorted. "You think that this is funny?" I spat.

He shook his head, coughing to rid his amusement. "Shit, owe," he mocked with a slight grimace, as if my hit was that painful. I went to pinch his shoulders, but he grabbed a hold of my wrists with both of his hands as his eyes widened. "Don't hurt me, please!" he begged, exaggerating. 

"You're unbelievable!" I yelled.

"You're a pain in my ass!" he yelled back, mocking me.

I pulled my hands out of his with a growl. "You're a pain in my life!" 

"Move in with me," he whispered quickly, bracing for impact as he gently pushed me back at the same time that he pulled his lower body away from mine. 

I shrugged as I started backing away. "Fine." 

"Fine?" he asked incredulously.

"Fine," I repeated as I turned around and continued heading towards the front doors. Looking over my shoulder, I raised an eyebrow at the shocked as shit expression that was written across the kid's features as he pushed himself away from the counter. "Are we going home, or wh—"

Ouch.

So much for me being slick, what with walking into the goddamn wall.

Lifting my head as I felt Edward's fingers running over the spot on my temple where it connected with the wall, I was met with pursed together lips as he raised a brow at me. "Are you okay, Bae?" 

Prick.

I nodded, hiding my grin as I stood up. Wrapping my arms around his shoulders, I smiled when he wrapped his own around my waist, tucking me into his neck. "Thank you, Edward."

"For wha—fuck!" he finished in a shout, his grip around my waist no longer existent since it immediately transfered over to his junk as soon as I kneed him.  

"For being you, silly," I laughed, stepping away from him and letting his body fall down onto the floor, what with my own not finding a need to support it anymore. After walking through the front door, I started skipping towards my truck, but as a sharp pain ran up my hip, my cheerfulness was instantly replaced with a loud hiss of "Goddamn it!" 

"Take it easy," Edward laughed slash groaned as he limped past me, his one hand still protecting his man part. He walked up to his car and pulled the passenger side door open before nodding at me. "After you."


Walking up to his car, I rolled my eyes at his smile and stepped inside. After he followed suit, he shut the driver's side door with one hand and grabbed a hold of my bag with the other before I was able to put it on my lap. "Christ!" I growled as he tossed my shit in the back, "Stop doing that!" 

"No."


"No wonder you don't have a girlfriend," I gritted with my arms across my chest. 

He laughed as he started up his car. "I don't have a girlfriend before I choose to not have a girlfriend, Bella. If I wanted one, I wouldn't have a problem in getting one, trust m—"


"Oh shut up!"

His jaw tightened in response to my interruption, and when he started mumbling shit underneath his breath, I turned my attention to the trees that we were passing, not listening to — nor caring of  — what the kid had to say.




When we reached the door to his apartment, he turned around and leaned against it before he raised an eyebrow at me. Placing my arms across my chest, I grinned. "What now, you prick? And, just so you know, we're not making out again, so if that's what you're looking for, you're wasting your time, I'm afraid." 


Returning my grin with one of his own, he rolled his eyes at me. "Please. Right now, killing you sounds a whole lot better than kissing you." 


"So?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, "What's up?" 


"You're sure about this, yeah?" He stopped me from telling him to take it easy with a shake of his head before he continued. "I mean, I have no problem with you staying here whatsoever, since I suggested it, but I'm not trying to kidnap your ass." 


"I'm sure," I replied before I added, "But, only under certain conditions." He raised an eyebrow in question. "I pay half rent, half utilities, half food, half...everything."


"Fine," he shrugged, "It's not needed..." he waved his hand up in the air, interrupting me as I went to voice my opinion on what was needed and not needed, "But whatever, that's fine, Bae. I'm cool with that."


"Okay then."

"Okay then," he repeated, staying put. 


Rolling my eyes at his smirk, I nodded at the door. "Go ahead, freak."


He turned around and faced the door, unlocked it, pushed it open, walked in, and came right back out...knocking into me as I went to follow him. "Fucking owe," I hissed when the idiot stepped on my chuck, "What is your problem, man?"


"Jas and Alice are in there," he replied, looking all appalled.


"And?" He gagged. "Move out of the way, you dick," I laughed as I pushed him off to the side to open the door again after he closed it. He tried to stop me as I walked into the darkened living room, but I shook his hand off of my arm with a roll of my eyes and a mumble of "I don't understand your all of a sudden disgu—"


"Oh, Jassy!"

What the motherfuck? 


After feeling for the light switch that I knew was placed against the wall right next to the door frame, I slid it up and looked around the no longer pitch black room. When my eyes focused on the couch, they widened in absolute horror.


Is that...


Oh.


Shit.


Ewe.


I covered up my mouth with one hand, already tasting the bile as my other one fumbled with the light switch in some frantic kind of a way, trying to enclose my newly contaminated living room in darkness again. "Oh God...a cowboy hat...and boots! Jesus H. Christ on your sicknesses!"


After my fingers found what they were desperately searching for, I slid the light switch down and backed out into the hallway before I slammed the door shut in front of me. Turning around, I saw Edward shaking his head as he leaned against the wall with his arms across his chest. "I fucking told you so, man."


"I'll never be able to look at your cousin in the eyes again and take him seriously."


He grinned as he lowered his head. "I couldn't see what was going on in there, but from the sounds of it..." he paused to meet my eyes again, "I'm going to take a guess and say that Jas was in uniform?"


I snorted. "Was he ever."


"That's fucking great," he laughed, pushing me aside before knocking on the door. "Alright, Tim McGraw, pack it up, I wanna come in!"


"That's what he said," I whispered.

Looking at me, he rolled his eyes. "How old are you again, Bae?"


I returned the gesture and added a middle finger before I pushed him away from the door. Keeping my eyes closed — just in case — I leaned in. "Well butter my biscuit! Ya'll need to hurry on up now!" I yelled in my best goddamn southern accent before laughing at my statement, and slapping my knee.


I'm fucking hilarious, what can I say?


"Bella, you need help," Edward whispered, shaking his head at me.

"Don't even act like that shit wasn't funny."


He shrugged as the front door opened, revealing a satisfied looking Jasper as he leaned against the frame. "You, shut up and don't say a word," he told Edward before looking over at me, "Hey, Brown Eyes," he murmured with a wink.

I gagged as I looked away from him. "Blue Eyes, your ass looked phenomenal."


"Why thank you, darlin," he laughed, "Come on in." 


"Ewe," I spat, pushing an amused Edward and Jasper aside before I walked into the living room. Looking around, I spotted Pixie standing up from the couch while pulling her tank top back down her torso and shook my head at her as I placed my arms across my chest. "Wow, Bonnie. Men in boots and a cowboy hat, I didn't know that you had it in you." 


She grinned as she walked up to me. "Lover, you would be surprised if you knew what I actually had in me a few minutes ago."


I grimaced as I covered my mouth. "Disgusting."


Laughing, she wrapped her arms around me. "So, you moving in with Edward...


"It's only temporary," I told her as she leaned back, "Don't get your biscuits in a twist, hookah."


She hummed as she started walking over towards the front door. "I'll see you at work tomorrow, yeah?"


"You sure will, slut," I replied, grinning at the playful glare that she gave me over her shoulder before she pulled the door open and stepped out into the hallway. Looking around at the clean as all hell living room, I groaned. "How am I supposed to live in this motherfucker?"

"So, you can take Jasper's old bedroom," Edward told me as he walked inside, locking the front door after him and making sure that it was locked by twisting the knob a few times. "I cleaned it out for you."


"I'm sure that you did," I whispered with a roll of my eyes before I raised a brow, "Hey, wait a second. How did you know that I was going to say yes to moving in with you?"


He shrugged. "I just did. I mean, again, who can deny any offer that I make to them?"

"Oh, living with you is sure going to bring 'joy' into my goddamn life, isn't it?" 


He smirked at my sarcasm, and when he started heading towards me, I narrowed my eyes at the kid as I started backing away from him. "It sure will." Without any warning, be bent down and grabbed a hold of my waist before he tossed me over his shoulder, laughing at the growl that left my throat as he slapped my ass. "Come on, let's go watch a movie, it's still early." 


"Edward!" I shouted into his ear, smiling at the groan that it produced as he led us through the hallway, "I can walk by myself, there's no need for you to act like a fucking caveman all the time!" 


"I know, but it's fun, either way," he replied before kicking his bedroom door open. 


After closing it behind him, he kept me over his shoulder as he pulled my chucks off and bent down a bit to place them against the door, all neat and proper-like. I went to comment on the kid's freak ways, but yelped instead as he tossed me down onto the bed like I weighed absolutely nothing. 


Getting underneath the covers as he shoved his own sneakers off, I rolled onto the right side, secretly sniffing the pillows along the way. "You do that shit on goddamn purpose. You know that that's my side."

The way that his jaw would tense up, man...


Like it was just asking me to lick it. 


"Your bed always smells the same," I stated, ignoring his irritation, "Why is that?" 


After pulling his tee shirt off, he raised an eyebrow at me as he started working on the belt that was holding his jeans up. "Why is what?" 


"I don't ever smell any girly perfume," I clarified as he lowered his jeans. 


He shrugged as he climbed into bed. "No girls ever sleep on my bed," he answered as I held the blanket up so that he could get underneath it, "If they stay over at all, I make them sleep on the living room couch." 


"That's rude," I told him as we faced each other, laying on our sides. 


"I just want my bed to be my goddamn bed, Bella," he whispered, "If I wanted to be retarded by stinking it up with all of that...girly perfume, then I wouldn't mind random chicks sleeping on it, or laying on it for that matter."  


I grinned, raising an eyebrow at the kid. "You do know that I'm a female, right?" 


His eyes widened in surprise. "Rea—" I interrupted the smart-ass by slapping his shoulder underneath the blanket, and he grinned in return before he continued. "I know that you're a female, Bae. But, you don't wear any type of perfume, you just smell good the way that you are."


I snorted. "You're kidding, right?"


"Nope."


I blushed from his quick answer, and as he looked away and ran his fingers through his hair, I tried to squash the awkwardness that we were getting into. "Right, any-who...maybe I uh, should go to bed, or something, yeah? I'm kind of tired, and I'm sure that you are, too...so..."


Not receiving any kind of response from him, I went to sit up but he stopped me by grabbing a hold of my arm and whispering my name. I raised an eyebrow at him in question, but then he shook his head as if he changed his mind about something before pushing himself up. "Shit, I uh...I didn't get a chance to get you any blankets, or pi—"

"It's okay."


Climbing out of bed, he rolled his eyes at me. "Don't be ridiculous, Bae. I know that you're always cold during the night, what with your lips shivering...even when I'm up against you." 


"Oh," I whispered as he started heading towards his closet, not knowing what else to say. "Well, uh, no worries. Can I just sleep in here tonight and then tomorrow morning, I'll go and get all of my stuff from Andy's house?" 


Turning around, he smiled, clear relief evident within him. "Yeah?"


I nodded as I patted the spot that he was laying on a second ago. "Yeah." After he climbed back into bed, I laid down, and as soon as the lights went out and enclosed the room in nothing but darkness, I jumped up to a sitting position and grabbed a hold of his arm, "No, turn it on, please!"


Light filtered the room a second later, and I looked away from his raised eyebrow. 


"I'm not...tired," I lied as I laid back down, avoiding his eyes. "Can we just talk until we fall asleep?"


"Sure," I heard him whisper before I looked up at him, "If that's what you want to do?" I nodded, and he mimicked the gesture before he laid back down, on his side. "No worries," he told my all of a sudden nervousness as his hands went to my hips and pulled me closer to him, to where my body went more than easily, "We can talk about anything that you want to talk about."


While he kept his eyes on mine, waiting patiently for nothing specific, I took one of my arms out from underneath the blanket and brought my hand towards his face. Using one of my fingertips, I traced the kid's nostril and he grinned in return as he moved his head back, away from my teasing. "Happy Birthday," I started in a whisper.


His eyes left mine as soon as the words left my mouth. "Yeah, thanks."


Turning his face back to mine again, I raised an eyebrow at him. "You hate your birthday, why?"


"Something always goes wrong on my birthday," he whispered. "It's not something to fucking celebrate."


I nodded, not understanding his declaration but letting him keep it to himself. As his fingers started running themselves over my lower back, I lowered my own from his jaw and placed my palms against his chest, closing my eyes. "Edward," I whispered, breaking the silence, "Tell me something."

"What do you want to know?" he whispered.


I opened my eyes and looked into his own. "What happened to your mom?" 


"My biological mother was a fucking train wreck," he answered — like it was programmed into his head — as he closed his eyes, ridding me the chance of reading them. "She never gave a shit about anyone other then her own goddamn self. Died when I was ten." I went to ask more after he stopped talking, but he shook his head as if he sensed my hesitation, keeping that green color hidden from me. "I'm really tired, Bella, so can we just go to sleep?"


I sat up, causing his eyes to open as they followed the movement. "Uh, maybe I should go out into the living room and sleep on th—"


"Don't go, Bae," he whispered, interrupting my words as he grabbed onto my wrist. Shaking his head, he pulled me back down before he rolled his eyes at himself. "I didn't mean to dismiss you like that, honestly. My mood's shit, only because I'm just really tired."


I shook my head, my message coming out wrong. "No, it's cool, I'm just...not tired. I don't want you to stay awake just for my company."


"I'll keep the lights on," he whispered, placing his arm over my waist, "No worries, yeah?"

This is what I'm talking about. 


Edward may get on my last goddamn nerve, but he knows what's going on in my head. 


I don't have to physically explain everything, he just...knows


And, there's no big production about it, he let's it be. 


"I'm sorry," I whispered after a second, "I've just been having these goddamn...nightma—"


"Your apologies aren't necessary," he interrupted as he turned around to give me the privacy that I wanted to get undressed for the night, "I get it, Bae. You don't have to explain it to me."

And, I just realized that my body was...atrocious. 


Fuck it. 


I'll just stay underneath the blanket, so it shouldn't be a problem. 


After pulling my hoodie, socks, and jeans off, I left them on the edge of the kid's bed to ease his OCD being instead of just tossing them onto the floor, like I usually did. Laying down again, I had my back facing him as I kept as much space in between us as possible. 


"What are you doing, Bae?" he laughed a minute or two later, behind me. I went to look over my shoulder, but his hands went to my hips and brought my back over to his chest, "Acting like you don't want to cuddle, all of a sudden." 


I faked a laugh and gritted my teeth at the same time. "Right." 


"Night," he whispered against my hair, his voice low and sleepy. 


I closed my eyes and yawned as his feet ran over mine. "Night." 




"Fuck," I hissed as soon as my hip took the fall after my entire body hit the hardwood floor. Rubbing my ache, I sat up and looked around the room, wondering how the hell I got down here. "What the h—"

"Do it, motherfucker!" I heard, right above me.

In Edward's voice.


I pushed myself up to my feet and saw him thrashing around on the bed. "Edward?" I whispered loudly, squinting my eyes in the darkness while I tried to understand what I was seeing, "Are you awa—"

"Pull it," he growled, interrupting me.


I shouted his name as I got back into bed, now noticing that he wasn't awake. Sitting beside him, I tried waking the kid up by shaking his shoulders. "Wake up, man...you're having a nightma—" I was cut off by the horrifying sound of a groan leaving his chest, causing instant worry to invade my being. "Jesus Christ, Edward!" I whispered frantically when his body started thrashing around again. Climbing on top of him, I tried to hold him down, with little success. "Wake up, please!"


He gasped, scaring the shit out of me as his hand slammed itself into his shoulder. Leaning back a bit, I tried to calm down my breathing as I kept my eyes on him, hoping that the behavior of my lungs would transfer over to his own. "Edward?"


Upon hearing his name, his eyes snapped open and met my widened ones. "Bae?"


"Yeah, are you...alright? I mean, you were having a nightmare, or something."


He nodded as he sat up, placing his palms against the sheets behind him as I wrapped my own around his biceps, staying on top of his lap as I kept my eyes on his while they roamed the bedroom, looking for something that I wasn't sure of.


The kid's whole body was tense underneath mine. 


It was like he couldn't...help it.


After a few silent-filled minutes, he shook his head as he lowered it. "Jesus Christ." 


I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him towards me, not at all enjoying the fast paced breathing that was leaving the kid's being. As soon as my chest pressed against his own, his body relaxed, and I sighed with nothing but relief, feeling his own arms wrap themselves around my waist while he hugged me back. 


A few minuted passed us before he leaned back a little bit, keeping his hold around me tight. I placed my palms against his cheeks, letting my eyes roam his face as I tried to figure out what exactly happened. "Edward?" 


His eyes moved down to my mouth as it opened and closed when I whispered his name, stayed there for a second or two before they traveled back up to meet with my own eyes again. I waited for him to say something, do something, fucking anything


"Edwa—"


The kid's name died in my throat when he leaned in a bit, my gaze stuck on his tongue while it quickly ran itself across his bottom lip. As his top one touched my chin a second later and softly rubbed the skin...back and forth, back and so nicely forth...my fingertips moved to the back of his head and roamed his scalp, trying to calm the both of us down. "It's okay, Edward."


He groaned my name, and I closed my eyes as his mouth left my owns parameter to run down the side of my neck. "I need you."


"I don't understand," I whispered but leaned back, giving his lips more room.  


The feel of his mouth running along my warm skin...


Its smoothness, compared to the roughness of his chin...


Hell, man. 


I was too goddamn occupied by its spell to listen to his talking. 


"Edw—" I moaned, interrupting my own whisper as I bit onto my bottom lip when his tongue softly licked the spot where my neck connected with my shoulder. His arms that were wrapped around me pulled my body even closer to his own before they left my waist. Pushing my tee shirt down, his fingers exposed my collarbone, but I internally scoffed at their act before I leaned back and lifted the motherfucker up over my torso and head, letting his hands follow mine as they helped me...guided me...with the same exact impatience that was running through my blood.


After my shirt was off, I leaned forward and pushed him so that he was laying on his back, giving me the control that I wanted as I straddled him. My covered chest found his bare one at the same time that his hands took a hold of my ass and pulled my lower body down, letting me feel him as we both groaned each other's names.


I took his hands in my own and ran his palms up my body, and when they reached the sides of my tits, he growled something delicious and thrust his hips into me, hitting that fucking spot that always liked to be hit, causing my fingers to unwrap from his wrists as I threw my head back with a moan of "Oh God."


His hands found my hips and held me steady while I rocked against him. Lowering my head again, my eyes found his darkened ones as I dragged my fingernails along his lower abdomen before they reached his — even more solid feeling — chest, which gifted me a soft groan from the kid that I, in return, had to squash...


Because, honestly?


I'm about to lose it.


His sounds alone...do that to me.


As I placed my palms against the pillow that his head was laying on top of, his hands left my hips and went to the back of my neck before they pulled my face down to his own. "Edwa—" my whisper was thoroughly interrupted when his lips took a hold of my top one and sucked it into his goddamn mouth. 


Bringing my tongue into the mix, I let it play with his own for a few seconds, but as soon as I bit it 'by accident,' a loud groan escaped his mouth before he quickly flipped us over, leaving me on the bottom with him on top of my body. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and when I lifted my hips and rubbed myself against him, his eyes clenched shut with a low mumble of a "Motherfucker."


I ran my hands along the kid's back until they found his ass, where I pulled his lower body down to mine, causing his elbows to give up supporting that weight of his that I enjoyed feeling. He lifted his forehead from my own and started kissing his way down my neck and chest, to where he paid particular attention to the skin that was above the lacy fabric that wasn't covered by it. "Stop teasing me, Ed—ohhh..." 


My hiss of unfairness turned into a moan when he shoved the top of my bra down, exposing my breasts that were more than ready to receive the kid's undivided attention. After running his nose along one of my nipples, I inhaled something embarrassing as the act caused it to perk right the hell up. Two unbearable seconds later, my eyes clenched shut when his lips parted to take the awakened bud into his mouth, and while he went to goddamn town with it, I internally collapsed from the feelings...a little bit. 

He hummed, letting go of my nipple as the other one begged for the same thing, but...his mouth thought of something better to attach itself to as it started drifting down the middle of my chest. "You taste so fucking good," he murmured over my skin as he placed his palms against the sheets that were by my waist.


My teeth took a hold of my bottom lip at his words. Opening my eyes, I looked down and held onto my breath as I watched his mouth slowly make its way down my body. Catching a glimpse of how his long fingers were gripping onto the sheets that were placed underneath me, my eyes rolled into the back of my head, loving the knowledge that I wasn't the only one who was trying to control myself.

My goddamn stomach.


At my sudden thought, I groaned a half felt stop, knowing that it was too low for him to hear. When I went to repeat myself, a loud gasp of "Holy Hell" left my being instead as his palms met my nipples and started rubbing them after his hands went above his head while his mouth continued on its way, descending, and descending, and... 


"Edward, stop!" I shouted, snapping out of it.


Immediately, he froze. I sat up after a second and he followed suit as he ran one of his hands down his face, trying to calm down his breathing while I stopped my own altogether. Meeting my eyes shortly afterwards, his own held disappointment. "Shit, I'm sorry, Bella...are you alright? I didn't mean to d—" 


I shook my head, interrupting the kid's unnecessary apologies as I pushed him away from me. "No, I'm golden, I'm sorry, it's not you, I didn't mean it like..." I rolled my eyes at my words before I quickly climbed out of bed, stubbing my pinky toe in the process. "Oh, you motherf—" Edward groaned, thinking that I was calling him that. Turning around to face him, I waved my hands up in the air, "No, not you, man...I'm good, honest to God," I whispered, nodding in some frantic type of a way as I tried to dismiss the clear disappointment that was written across his features. Noticing that the kid's eyes were on my chest a second later, I grabbed a hold of the blanket and yanked it before I grimaced, the action of my pull tossing him onto his side. Mumbling a "Sorry," and a "Goodnight," I ran slash fell out of his bedroom. 





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